DEAR ABBY: I am deeply concerned about our grandchildren, ages 6 and 9. Our son, "Kevin," recently went through a divorce. He now shares custody with his ex-wife.
When Kevin and the kids come over for Sunday dinner, my son turns dinnertime into a battleground. For example, he'll argue with the children nonstop and force them to eat things they don't like. I think he's intentionally trying to stir up trouble. His father and I eat in silence and try not to interfere. We just pray Kevin will hurry up and go home. We're nervous wrecks by the time they leave.
When my husband and I have the children alone, we're able to create a relaxed atmosphere, and our grandkids respond to that. We talk calmly to them about their day, what happened at school, or anything that may be bothering them.
I am concerned about the mental well-being of our grandchildren, Abby. When they get hurt, Kevin doesn't try to comfort them or check to see how bad the boo-boo is -- he orders them to stop crying and quit acting like babies.
Should we speak up or butt out and leave our son alone? Please help. -- WORRIED ABOUT KEVIN'S KIDS
DEAR WORRIED: If Kevin's behavior has changed since the divorce, it's possible he's overwhelmed by all the responsibility he has when the children are with him.
By all means speak up! If it continues, his overbearing manner will destroy his relationship with his children. Offer to take the children on a regular basis for a while; it might lessen your son's stress.