DEAR ABBY: My wife and I moved into a new house with our son about six months ago. After we moved, we realized we needed to set some house rules. One of them has to do with overnight guests.
The rule is simple: If a family member or friend asks to spend the night, each of us must check with the others before agreeing. We do this in case there is a conflict and out of respect for each other.
Last week, my sister, "Lisa," who lives out of town, called to ask me if she could spend the night. I told her I needed to check with my wife and son, but I didn't think it would be a problem. Lisa was appalled and insulted that I would have to check with my wife and son before "allowing" her to stay. In her wildest dreams, she couldn't imagine ever having to check with her husband and kids. After she hung up, she told a bunch of her friends about it. She told me they, too, were flabbergasted that I would say such a thing to my sister.
Abby, my wife, son and I have had no conflicts since we established that rule. Should I have gone ahead and told Lisa it was OK to stay without checking first? (By the way, my wife and son had no problem with my sister staying with us.) –- LITTLE BRO IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR LITTLE BRO: No. You did the right thing. Your marriage is a true partnership, and you're teaching your son consideration for others. There would be far less conflict in most families if more people communicated as effectively as you do. Your sister owes all of you an apology.