Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Those Suffering Mental Illness May Not Get Help They Need
DEAR ABBY: May is Mental Health Awareness Month. In recognition, public service announcements have aired on television and radio. One of every five people in America has a mental health problem. Every 17 minutes, another person will commit suicide. More than 70 percent of young people who suffer from mental illness do not receive the help they need.
As a nation, we have addressed the stigma associated with diseases like cancer and AIDS by expanding our knowledge. We must now apply that same knowledge and understanding to mental illness. To accomplish this, we must create a climate that not only encourages discussion about these issues, but one that also brings mental illness out of the closet and into the realm of physical illness. Science has shown that mental illness is as treatable as physical ailments, and in some cases, MORE treatable. Major depression is treatable in 85 percent of cases, while angioplasty -- a treatment for heart disease -- works only 41 percent of the time.
Before Mental Health Awareness Month ends, won't you please encourage children and parents to talk honestly about mental health and urge them to seek help if they have a mental health issue? By doing so, we can begin to remove barriers to treatment, eradicate stigma and shame, and ensure that more people get the help they need.
Our goal is to create understanding and awareness, and to convey the message that mental illness is no one's fault. Help is available. No one should be ashamed or afraid to reach out for it. Thank you, Dear Abby, for helping to spread the word. -- NANCY RUBIN, NATIONAL MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS CAMPAIGN
DEAR NANCY: I'm delighted to help. Mental health has long been an interest of mine. An area of particular concern today is undiagnosed emotional problems in younger people.
Feelings such as fear and anger are a normal part of life. Understanding mood changes and what triggers them is an important part of knowing who you are. Situations such as divorce in the family or strained relationships with relatives or friends cause emotional stress, making a person feel sad or blue. These feelings are NORMAL.
Certain experiences, thoughts and feelings, however, signal the presence of possible mental health problems or the need for professional help. Parents, doctors and teachers often don't recognize these signs and think of them as indications of their own inadequacy. Punitive behavior and isolation won't make the problem go away. It's important to recognize the following warning signs:
-- Finding little or no pleasure in life.
-- Feeling worthless or extremely guilty.
-- Crying a lot for no particular reason.
-- Withdrawing from others.
-- Severe anxiety, panic or fear.
-- Extreme mood swings.
-- Change in eating or sleeping habits.
-- Losing interest in hobbies and pleasurable activities.
-- Having very low energy.
-- Having too much energy, difficulty concentrating or following through on plans.
-- Feeling easily irritated or angry.
-- Racing thoughts or agitation.
-- Hearing voices or seeing images others do not.
-- Believing others are plotting against you.
-- Wanting to harm yourself or someone else.
It's not always easy to recognize or interpret these warning signs. Qualified mental health professionals should always be consulted to make an accurate diagnosis.
Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.
DEAR ABBY: As an otologist (ear physician), I am delighted to see the public's attention drawn to the problem of hearing loss, especially noise-induced hearing loss, which is entirely preventable. However, Nanette Fabray MacDougall's recent letter and your response perpetuated a popular myth: Brief exposure to loud sound is damaging to people's hearing.
Risk to hearing is based not only on how loud the sound is, but also on HOW LONG you're exposed. The 90-decibel figure she cited is the limit set by the U.S. Occupational Safety and Health Administration based on the assumption of a workplace exposure that lasts eight hours a day, five days a week, 52 weeks a year, for 40 years.
Exposure to rock concerts and dance clubs is certainly hazardous to the musicians and other employees who work in that environment day in and day out -- and frequent exposure would be bad for anyone who has a noisy job or hobby -- but for the rest of us, occasional exposure is harmless.
Movie theaters are unlikely to be hazardous to hearing because the sound levels are usually high for only short periods. For adults who have quiet jobs (if you can converse at arm's length without shouting, you have a quiet job), the main preventable causes of hearing loss are head injury (wear seat belts in cars, wear helmets on bicycles) and explosive noise (wear earplugs or earmuffs when firing guns and stay away from firecrackers). People with noisy jobs should insist that their employers have sound-level measurements made, and enroll them in hearing conservation programs if the exposures are hazardous.
Let's keep things in perspective. Remember that it's the dose that makes the "poison." -- ROBERT DOBIE, M.D., WASHINGTON, D.C.
DEAR DR. DOBIE: Thank you for setting me straight. I'm sure my readers will find your letter as enlightening as I did. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Our thanks to Nanette Fabray MacDougall, but she didn't go far enough. It's not only the music in movies and TV shows that's too loud, it is also the sound effects, i.e., planes, helicopters, sirens, construction sounds, street noise, raging storms, etc., that cover the dialogue.
Perhaps if everyone who is inconvenienced would write to the companies and studios who produce these shows and complain, they would eventually get the message. -- TIRED OF THE NOISE
DEAR TIRED: It appears that some production companies are already getting the message. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: I have contacted TV programmers about lowering the level of the music and sound effects on their shows. Lifetime Television said they would lower the audio track on future productions of "Beyond Chance." Discovery Channel said they would pass along my complaint to program management and executives.
Abby, please urge your readers to let their voices be heard loud and clear -- by contacting TV stations and program producers. Some of them seem to be listening. -- ADAM McKEEHAN, MASON, OHIO
DEAR ADAM: That's refreshing. Readers, it's up to you. Whether it's by e-mail or snail mail, let your voices be heard.
Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Child of War Remembers Brave Soldiers Who Saved His Life
DEAR ABBY: I would like to address this letter to the American heroes of World War II. I am a Dutch lawyer, 63 years old, and retired. At the time of that terrible war I was a little boy between 4 and 8 years old.
We lived in Balikpapan (Borneo, Indonesia) until the day that women and children had to quickly leave by plane for Java, trying to escape the onrushing Japanese army. My mother, sister and I arrived in Java with nothing but the clothes and shoes we were wearing.
My father, whom I loved dearly, had to stay behind with the other employees of the Shell group in order to destroy the oil installations and plants so they couldn't be used by the Japanese. I never saw my father again. After the war, I learned that he and the other men had died in a concentration camp. My mother, sister and I were also in a concentration camp for four years. It's a miracle I survived.
I owe my life to the American soldiers who served at that time in the Pacific and Europe. Because of them, the war ended much sooner. I want to thank them all for giving everything they had and lived for, to serve America and to rescue so many nations in distress and agony. I am always happy to see that when others are too afraid, the Americans step into the breach for a world in trouble.
I want to acknowledge the brave efforts of the American military who fought gallantly in World War II, in the Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force and Coast Guard. I want to thank them with my whole heart for giving their youth, their limbs and sometimes their lives in order to save the lives of defenseless children and adults. It was a heroic fight against satanic dictators and tyrants.
I realize that words may be inadequate to express my deep gratitude. But I want them to rest assured that they have not been forgotten, and that my life and the lives of so many others were saved by their heroic sacrifices.
God bless the American veterans! -- ERIK P. BOERS, HOLLAND
DEAR ERIK: You may feel that words are inadequate to express your feelings, but I'm sure the people they are intended for will get the message.
As the citizens of our great country well know, wearing a uniform and serving in the armed forces is dangerous work even in the best of times -- so I would like to extend your message: God bless our veterans and the men and women currently in our armed forces, wherever they are. They deserve to know how grateful we are. And bless the spirits of those who sacrificed their lives that we might live in freedom on this Memorial Day.
DEAR ABBY: I was the "cupid" who introduced two friends -- a widow and a widower. They have now been married more than 10 years. Today when I see them, they act like they're doing me a big favor by saying hello. I don't understand it. I have the feeling they're sore at me. What do you think is their problem? -- CUPID IN PARK RIDGE, ILL.
DEAR CUPID: Rather than speculate, call them and make a date to get together. It will give you an opportunity to find out the reason for their change in attitude, and the mystery will be solved. (Perhaps there is a statute of limitations on being nice to little naked people shooting arrows.)
Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)