DEAR ABBY: I am a single mom of a 6-year-old boy. My son spends every Wednesday night and every other weekend with his dad.
Lately I've been going dancing and have met some single dads and dads in the midst of divorce. One of the complaints I often hear from them is that when they have regular, scheduled visits with their kids, they end up having to "run them all over town" -- to soccer, swimming, etc. It seems lost on them that that's what most moms do!
An example: My son's class lottery system chose Wednesday evening for his swimming class. However, my son's father didn't want to take him there, even though it fell on the night of his weekly visit. Imagine my little boy's disappointment. There is nothing more special to him than having his favorite person in the whole world -- his dad -- watch him swim.
This is not an issue of men vs. women, or ex vs. ex. It's about custodial vs. noncustodial parents. Of course, I understand when special plans interfere, but I don't understand why noncustodial parents feel that children should forgo their regular events during the time shared with them.
I do the best I can to make our home complete, but I cannot fill the shoes of my son's father. Abby, please encourage noncustodial parents to take an active part in those special times, even if it is inconvenient. Don't insist upon making your children sacrifice what they enjoy most. -- TACOMA MOM
DEAR TACOMA MOM: Well said. Your ex-husband's attitude is not only selfish, but he's also missing out on an important opportunity to make his son feel special and successful. He'll never get this chance again.