DEAR ABBY: A close friend has asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. (I'll call her Tina.) There will be only three girls in Tina's wedding party -- the maid of honor, another bridesmaid and me.
The three of us are planning a bridal shower, but Tina's mother is being difficult. She insists we host the shower at an elegant restaurant. Since the guest list numbers more than 40 people, we had planned to have it at a modest restaurant with a banquet hall we can more easily afford.
Tina's mom is insisting on the restaurant she has selected, even though she has made it clear that it will be our responsibility to foot the entire bill. Last night, she called Tina's maid of honor and started yelling at her about it.
Are we responsible for throwing an extravagant shower we can't afford? -- WEDDING SHOWER BLUES
DEAR BLUES: Under no circumstances should you allow yourselves to be intimidated into paying for a shower you cannot comfortably afford. Invite the bride's mother to the lovely shower you are hosting in the banquet hall. It's up to her whether she wants to attend or not. If she wants to upgrade the restaurant, she should ante up the difference, not you.