DEAR ABBY: I'm about to be married and am looking forward to my wedding with one exception: the family part.
I was severely abused as a child by my oldest sister. She is seven years older than me. My parents both worked outside the home, and they left her in charge.
When I was 5, I returned from Asia where I had been living with my grandparents. That's when the abuse started. She made up lies about things I supposedly did during the day, and since my parents were very traditional and stressed work, they beat me almost nightly.
I'm an adult now and have gone through therapy, where I learned the best way to deal with my family is to see as little of them as possible.
Although I have forgiven them and moved on, I do not want my sister at my wedding. The rest of the family has faced the truth and tried to make amends; my sister has not, and I want nothing to do with her. My mother, however, wants us to be "one big, happy family" with my sister in attendance. (Our family has never been "one big, happy family.") What should I do? -- ABOUT TO BE MARRIED IN L.A.
DEAR ABOUT TO BE MARRIED: I see no reason to invite your abuser to your wedding in order to satisfy your mother's fantasy of a perfect family. Omit your sister from the guest list, and don't allow anyone to browbeat you into changing your mind. Your reasons for excluding her are legitimate.
Please accept my best wishes for a long and happy marriage.