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LETTER CARRIERS' FOOD DRIVE DELIVERS HELP TO THE HUNGRY
DEAR ABBY: Studies have shown that hunger in America is a much more serious problem than most people realize. A staggering 30 million people (10.4 percent of the population in the United States) depend on food banks and other charities in order to eat. The need for food increases in the summer because many children are out of school where they often receive free breakfasts and lunches. For some of them, the free food offered by the schools is their main meal of the day.
Because food supplies at food banks and charities diminish during summer months due to increased demand for assistance, a program in which letter carriers accept food donations and deliver them to food banks has been instituted.
Last year, nearly 3.5 million pounds of food were donated by postal customers, making it the most successful single-day food drive to date.
This year, on Saturday, May 12, 100,000 letter carriers across the United States will collect food donations. The National Association of Letter Carriers is proud to sponsor this drive, our ninth nationwide food drive to feed hungry children and adults.
Abby, your readers can help by leaving unopened containers of nonperishable foods next to their mailboxes for the carriers to pick up and deliver to local food banks and charities to replenish their supplies for the summer. Your assistance in making this the most successful food drive to date will be greatly appreciated by letter carriers, as well as the less fortunate who might otherwise go to bed hungry. -- JILL LEMONS, FOOD DRIVE COORDINATOR, CANOGA PARK, CALIF.
DEAR JILL: I'm pleased to publicize your food drive. People often don't realize that many of those who utilize these community food shelves are not homeless indigents, but working-poor families who are unable to earn enough to cover their monthly expenses. It's shocking and deplorable.
Readers: Deserving people will appreciate your special delivery of food from the heart. Almost all of us can afford to leave a little something. I know I can depend on you.
DEAR ABBY: One night last week, I accidentally poisoned my cat and almost killed him. All I did was put a small amount of flea and tick powder on him that was meant for my dog.
To make a long story short, the next morning I rushed my poor sick kitty to the closest vet. While the doctor was treating my feline, he told me that the mistake I made is a common one that he has seen many times.
Since then, I have spoken with two people whose pets died because they made the same unfortunate mistake.
I can't thank the good doctor and his staff enough for saving my beloved cat -- and for all their kindness when I was so distraught. Abby, I hope this warning will prevent other pet owners from making this same terrible mistake. -- JAMES C. EMERICK, VERO BEACH, FLA.
DEAR JAMES: I'm pleased your cat survived, and thank you for alerting other cat owners about the potential danger. Spring and summer are flea and tick season, so your warning is a timely one.
P.S. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Nobody is purr-fect.
Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.
Donation of Formal Dresses Can Make Prom Dreams Come True
DEAR ABBY: When my daughter was in college, she worked part-time as a coach in a nearby high school. One of the girls on the squad confided that she wouldn't be attending her senior prom because she didn't have the money to buy a dress. My daughter immediately offered to lend her one -- with shoes and jewelry to go with the outfit. The kid was thrilled.
Last spring while I was cleaning out closets, I saw that my daughter had accumulated several gowns from wedding parties and school formals that she was never going to wear again. Remembering her experience while she was coaching, we decided together to phone a nearby public high school to see if they knew of any girls who might need a gown for their prom.
A woman in the school's administration office was delighted to hear from us. When we dropped off the items, the broad smile on the face of the school official told us the need was great.
Abby, please remind your female readers that when they clean out their closets, they can donate their gowns to a high school. In doing so, they have the opportunity to give a girl who might not be able to go to the prom a happy memory. -- JUST A MOM IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR JUST A MOM: What a wonderful suggestion. We have all read the story of Cinderella -- but few of us realize that we, too, can fulfill the role of fairy godmother. We may not be able to provide a glass slipper or a handsome prince, but we can help to make a deserving girl's dream come true.
DEAR ABBY: I witnessed a situation in a popular restaurant last week. It left me wanting to share it, in order to protect other innocent children from possible danger.
A little girl got up from a table, where she was sitting with her mother and a sibling, and headed toward the "unisex" restroom, arriving there just ahead of me. She went in, the door closed, and then she came out. I asked her if she was through, and she told me that there was someone inside, but the door had been left unlocked. I stood with her outside the door, and a man walked out. I was shocked. The little girl then went inside, and I waited my turn.
The incident left me with questions: Did the man purposely leave the door unlocked? Did he expose himself to the little girl?
I'm upset with myself for not confronting the man, not informing the mother, not reporting it to the management. I know if someone had walked in on me, I would have gasped or shrieked or something. I was standing there and heard nothing.
The bottom line, Abby, is that parents need to take more responsibility for the welfare of their children. Children shouldn't be SENT to a public restroom -- they should be escorted. -- CONCERNED MOTHER IN MISSION VIEJO, CALIF.
DEAR CONCERNED: I commend you for writing an important letter. Responsible parents accompany children to the restroom -- even if it's a same-sex facility.
DEAR ABBY: I am almost 92 years old, and for many years I've said, "If I had mail-ordered my in-laws, I couldn't have done any better." -- HAPPY MARIE IN PORTLAND, ORE.
DEAR MARIE: With an attitude like yours, I'll bet you had a fairy-tale marriage.
Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Boy's Jealousy of Little Sister Could Grow Into Big Problem
DEAR ABBY: In all of my 50 years, this is the first time I have felt compelled to write. It's about your response to "No Vacancy in Indiana," the mother whose 15-year-old son went to live with his father but wanted to keep his old bedroom. Your response was right on, but it didn't go far enough. That boy needs professional help in dealing with his jealousy of the 5-year-old sister from the second marriage. If his feelings remain untreated, it will poison all his future relationships.
How do I know? I just got out of treatment for jealousy -- not my own, my sister's. She has told me throughout my life that the worst thing that ever happened to her was the birth of my twin brother and me. I beat myself up for years trying to have a relationship with my sister, but with professional help, I have realized that it will never be and have let it go.
Jealousy, once established, has a way of coloring all the other relationships the sufferer has. If the young man gets counseling to work through his jealousy, he might yet be able to establish a healthy relationship with his family and others in the future. -- FINALLY FREE IN MONTANA
DEAR FINALLY FREE: Although a certain amount of sibling rivalry is normal, I agree that the young man could benefit from counseling to come to terms with his jealousy. And by the way, some people felt I was far too lenient in my answer to that letter. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Your answer was way off base. If that boy is old enough to leave, he should also be old enough to accept the consequences of his decision. He just wants to have his cake and eat it, too.
The room should be given to his sister. He forfeited his right to it when he left. If the son decides to return home, let him have his sister's tiny room. The world does not revolve around him. -- FAITHFUL SIOUX CITY READER
DEAR FAITHFUL: While I'm all for teaching children to make responsible choices, a wise parent is careful about being overly punitive. It would be easy to react in anger to the son's behavior; however, the mother who wrote was obviously uneasy about making a snap decision. Although the 5-year-old's room might seem cramped to an adult, it probably doesn't seem so to the little girl, and won't for a few years. I see no harm in waiting a few months before reassigning the room. Young people sometimes make hasty decisions they later regret. They don't need to be punished for it daily, as long as they're under the parents' roof. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Twenty years ago, I married a widower with three children and brought into the marriage my youngest son, age 15, the survivor of a very bad home life. We were all short of space, but somehow I had sense enough to keep a separate bedroom for my son.
When he left for college, he asked, "Who gets my room?" I replied, "No one. It's always yours."
A year later, he let me know how emotionally strong my answer had kept him. He knew he had "a place" in our home and in our hearts.
Today he is a dean of students at a great college and mentors young people. The 15-year-old NEEDS the larger room -- the 5-year-old doesn't. -- CHARLOTTE IN MILFORD, DEL.
Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.
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