DEAR ABBY: My father, now in his late 60s, seems to enjoy upsetting people. For many years, he has given gifts with the intention of deliberately shocking the recipient. When the package is opened, he breaks into a big grin if the person is reduced to tears.
He sent my sister's rooommate insulting literature because he doesn't like the way she manages her money. He doesn't like my niece's husband, so he sent him a pair of dirty socks.
As he ages, it appears that my father's desperate attempts to hurt people have accelerated. The last straw came a few weeks ago when I was a passenger in my father's car. He purposely stopped across three lanes of oncoming traffic -- on my side of the car! I became hysterical. My husband wants to sell our home and move me as far away as possible from my abusive father.
Abby, our family is planning to get together again soon. I feel like excluding my father. What should I do? -- HURT IN VIRGINIA
DEAR HURT: Whether or not to invite your father to a family gathering is the least of your worries. Your father's behavior appears to be escalating from eccentric to dangerous. One definition of serious mental illness is, "The person is a danger to himself or others." By stopping his car across three lanes of traffic, he placed you in serious jeopardy. Talk to a lawyer and to his doctor about his behavior. Your father must be evaluated for dementia or mental illness.