Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.
Veterans of Merchant Marine Should Enjoy Hard Won Status
DEAR ABBY: World War II mariners, who suffered the highest casualty rate of any of the branches of service while they delivered troops, tanks, airplanes and fuel to every theater of war, were belatedly awarded veteran status in 1988 and in 1998.
Thus far, only 95,000 out of a quarter-million eligible mariners, or their survivors, have applied for veteran status. Application procedures can be found at www.USMM.org/update.html or by sending a business-size self-addressed, stamped (55 cents) envelope to AMMV: WWII, P.O. Box 2361, Berkeley, CA 94702.
This is important because men and women who served in the U.S. Merchant Marines and the U.S. Army Transport Service may be eligible for medical care and prescriptions through the Veterans Administration. At the very least, they can tell their grandchildren they are "veterans of World War II," and can get a flag for their coffin and a grave marker.
Mariners from the Korean, Vietnam, Gulf wars, and the U.S. Maritime Service, the official WWII Merchant Marine training organization, should contact AMMV: OTHER, at the above address, so that they, too, can join together in applying for veteran status. -- DANIEL HORODYSKY, COMMUNICATIONS DIRECTOR, AMERICAN MERCHANT MARINE VETERANS
DEAR DANIEL: I am pleased that these unsung heroes are now able to receive benefits, as they should have been in the first place. Better late than never.
DEAR ABBY: Thank you for printing the letter from "Karen in Virginia," who after years of suffering was finally diagnosed as having endometriosis. After reading your column, I visited the Web site you mentioned (www.killercramps.org). Many of the symptoms were familiar to me, so I took the quiz and discovered that was probably my problem, too.
I talked to my mother about it and learned that both she and my grandmother had endometriosis, so I made an appointment with my gynecologist. The doctor recommended that in the very near future I undergo a procedure to have the tissue removed.
Had I not read about it in your column, I never would have known how serious endometriosis can be. Because of that column, I won't have to endure more years of pain. Thank you again, Abby. Sign me ... GRATEFUL IN OKLAHOMA
DEAR GRATEFUL: I was surprised at the number of women who suffer from this problem. More than half a million women visited the Endometriosis Association Web site after reading Karen's letter. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: "Karen in Virginia" wrote about the pain and suffering of endometriosis. It is also important to note that this debilitating disease can cause infertility.
Women with endometriosis who wish to have children need special care from their OB-GYN and must take steps early to preserve their fertility. These women should not wait until they are ready to start their families before seeking medical help.
RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association has information and educational materials for women with endometriosis who are planning to have children. For more information, patients can visit the RESOLVE Web site at www.resolve.org or call the RESOLVE helpline at 617-623-0744. -- JOAN C. BOWEN, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR
DEAR JOAN: I hope you're prepared for an onslaught of inquiries -- because you're going to get them.
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Your Old Cell Phone Can Provide New Lease on Life
DEAR ABBY: Because of today's ever-improving technology in wireless phones, millions of Americans have cell phones lying around that are no longer being used.
Instead of tossing them in the garbage when new ones are purchased, these handsets can be given to the "Donate-A-Phone" program that helps domestic violence victims. Sponsored by the Wireless Foundation, the "Donate-A-Phone" campaign was launched in September 1999 to collect and refurbish a portion of the 24 million wireless phones no longer being used. The phones are reprogrammed with 911 and other emergency numbers so domestic violence victims can access local emergency services and hot-line numbers at the touch of a button.
From May 1 to July 31, 2001, RadioShack is once again partnering with the Wireless Foundation to collect cell phones for the program. Abby, please let your readers know they can help victims of domestic violence by donating their old wireless phones. -- JILL A. LAIN, RADIOSHACK
DEAR JILL: What a terrific idea! Prepare for a deluge, because I'm sure that many people who see your letter will be delighted to join your "Donate-A-Phone" campaign.
Readers: Between May 1 and July 31, your outdated cell phone may be dropped off at any of RadioShack's 7,100 stores. Phones and accessories in any condition will be gladly accepted, and all donations are tax-deductible to the fullest extent of the law. IRS regulations prohibit the receiving organization from placing a value on donated items, but generally, the fair-market value can be claimed on your tax return.
For further information on this campaign, access the Web site: www.donateaphone.com.
DEAR ABBY: Whenever there is a death in or outside of our family, my mother always sends a card with cash in it to the grieving family. This mortifies me. She sends $5 to $50 for funeral expenses regardless of the financial situation of those in mourning. It seems so tacky. I beg her to send food or flowers or just a card, but she continues to send cash every time.
What do you think? -- MORTIFIED DAUGHTER IN MICHIGAN
DEAR MORTIFIED: Lighten up! This may be a generational difference. It is certainly a caring gesture -- and I cannot see that it is in any way "tacky." If the grieving family doesn't need the money, it can always be forwarded to the deceased's favorite charity.
DEAR ABBY: Why do athletes get paid more than teachers and policemen? They are the people who educate us and keep us safe. I believe the public can live without watching athletes, but can't live without people who keep us safe and make us smart. -- GRACE KOUBA, AGE 9, EUGENE, ORE.
DEAR GRACE: You have asked a very good question. Athletes earn huge salaries because of the money and publicity they bring to the teams that hire them. Millions of fans pay big money to see their favorite athletes play. Whether their "service" is of more value than what a teacher or police officer has to offer is a matter of perspective -- and a lesson in capitalism.
Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Man Wary of New Relationship for Fear of Attachment to Kids
DEAR ABBY: I was in a relationship with a woman for more than four years. It ended two years ago. The hardest part was not being able to see her 7-year-old son, "Teddy," anymore. During the time we were together, he thought of me as his father. He called me Daddy, and every day told me he loved me. (His real father has never been a part of his life.)
To be frank, I miss the little guy more than I miss his mother. When we parted, I told Teddy I loved him and always would. I think of him often. Unfortunately, I have had no contact with them since they moved to a different state.
Abby, I recently met another woman. She is very nice, and we get along well. She has three kids, ages 7 to 15. I have feelings for their mom, and I know she has feelings for me. However, I am unsure about going forward with this relationship. I can't endure loving someone's kids as my own, and maybe having history repeat itself should we break up. I still have not recovered from being separated from Teddy.
I am mature enough to know that you must take chances in life. I also know that if I don't move forward with this, I'll probably regret it. Any advice? -- JUST NOT SURE, SPARKS, NEV.
DEAR JUST NOT SURE: If you feel strongly about this woman, make your move. You can't go through life looking over your shoulder.
Write to Teddy and ask how he is doing. Tell him you miss him and think of him often, and assure him that he was not the cause of the breakup with his mother. Sometimes children blame themselves for things that are not their fault.
DEAR ABBY: I am 21 and about to graduate from college. I recently broke off a three-year engagement with my high-school sweetheart. I know it's unbelievable, but I have already met another man who is everything I could ever want in a husband. He has a good job, is caring, sensitive and attractive. Things are going well between us, but I have some reservations: He's divorced and has two children, ages 9 and 5.
I have not yet met his children. They live with his ex-wife. I really like this man, and I love children. My friends and family think I will be holding myself back if I get further involved with a man who has a ready-made family.
Abby, do you think I am setting myself up to be hurt by falling for someone who has an ex-wife and two children? Should I just go with my feeling that this could be the right person for me? Is it wise to get into a relationship at my age with an older man and end up raising his children when I don't yet have my own? Please respond. -- YOUNG AND CONFUSED
DEAR YOUNG: Take your time. You may still be on the rebound from ending that long engagement. This man could be for you, but it is too soon to tell.
Ask him to introduce you to his children and his ex-wife. See for yourself what your relationship with this man would be like with all of them in your life. You need more information before making any decisions that could last a lifetime. Once you've got it, follow your intuition.
Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.
Abby shares her favorite recipes in a two-booklet set. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $7.90 per set ($9 per set in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)