DEAR ABBY: My son "Rudy" is 42 years old and still depends on me and his sisters to give him money to survive. He is an only son and brother and has always expected it from us.
Rudy never married and recently started living on his own, although he doesn't own much of anything. One of his sisters was generous enough to purchase a home for him to live in, but he refused to move to where the house is located.
He doesn't own a car, and I guess he is waiting for one of us to get one for him. In the past, we have bought him cars and trucks, along with beautiful clothing -- and he has nothing to show for it. All of us in the family have bent over backward to help him get on his feet.
Abby, what can we do to make Rudy understand that he needs to take care of himself without help from us? His sisters have cut him off; however, I am still trying to do the best for me AND for him. Your thoughts, please. -- NO NAME IN NEW MEXICO
DEAR NO NAME: Your son is old enough to be told the facts of life. Show him the help-wanted ads and point out entry-level positions. The gravy train has left the station, and now Rudy must stand on his own two feet.
P.S. He may need professional counseling to break his lifelong dependency on others. Let's hope it's the last thing you'll have to pay for.