DEAR ABBY: I wholeheartedly agree with your answer about how the ashes of a cremated loved one should be handled. You said if it would be comforting to the surviving relatives, a portion could be given to them.
When our youngest son -- an avid skier -- was killed in an auto accident on his way to ski three years ago, we were stunned. One of his friends asked if he could have some of his ashes to spread at a favorite ski run they had enjoyed together. That led to our decision to divide his ashes and place them in vials. After the memorial service, we invited anyone who wished to take some to spread at a special place they had shared with our son, and to let us know where and why they chose their special place. The responses delighted us.
His ashes are spread from Canada to New Mexico; the stories his friends wrote and shared with us are beautiful. We spread some of the ashes in Ohio where his youth was spent, and we took some to Scotland to scatter on his grandmother's grave.
We think he would be very pleased with how we handled this. -- SAD, BUT AT PEACE IN ARIZONA
DEAR AT PEACE: You handled it beautifully -- and I'm pleased it brought you comfort. I have a hunch that the letters you received from your son's friends will be a more meaningful memorial than an epitaph carved in granite would have been.