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by Abigail Van Buren

Co Worker's Wedding Is No Cause for Celebration

DEAR ABBY: One of my co-workers is being married next month and has invited most of the office to her wedding. I had planned on buying her a gift, but probably won't attend. We are not close. She has been very difficult to work with. She's possibly the most two-faced person I have ever known.

I have overheard this woman putting me down to co-workers, clients and vendors during the entire 4 1/2 years we have worked together. I am seriously considering leaving this company because of her. My supervisor has told me on several occasions that I am "on my own with her."

Today she had the nerve to drop a very broad hint that she would like an office wedding shower. I am this company's office manager, and organizing such an event would be up to me.

I am almost 50 years old, have worked at several other companies, and have never heard of an "office wedding shower." Aside from my strong dislike for this co-worker, I want to do what is correct. What do you recommend? -- AWAITING ADVICE IN WASHINGTON STATE

DEAR AWAITING: Since your heart isn't in it (and with good reason), don't allow yourself to be maneuvered into arranging a shower. To get yourself off the hook, see if someone she's closer to would care to host a shower for her outside of office hours.

DEAR ABBY: I would like to tell "A Friend in Chicago," who was concerned because a family refused to take their 92-year-old grandmother to the doctor, that there is an agency serving people over 60.

In 1965, the Older Americans Act was enacted by Congress. It allocated funding for numerous "Area Agencies on Aging" across the United States. They are listed in local phone books. They provide resources for transportation, home-delivered meals, respite care, income tax preparation, medication assistance, flu shots, heating and cooling assistance, homemaker services, housing, legal assistance, where to report suspected neglect or exploitation of elderly persons, and more.

They also help coordinate recreational activities, such as senior games: bowling tournaments, track, basketball free throw, golf, shuffleboard, and more. Senior centers across America provide numerous activities and services for both active and homebound seniors. They will, if asked, also provide daily telephone reassurance calls and/or weekly visits to ensure the safety and well-being of the senior in question. -- JENNIFER E. RABALAIS, SOUTHWEST TENNESSEE AREA AGENCY ON AGING

DEAR JENNIFER: I'm sure many people will be surprised and relieved to know that so much help is so close at hand. Thank you for writing.

DEAR ABBY: We are a group of senior women who enjoy dining out.

After a good meal, one of our menfolk likes to seek out the young hostesses, encircle their waists, look deep into their eyes and tell them what a great meal he's had.

What do you think of this behavior? -- DAILY FLORIDA READER

DEAR FLORIDA READER: I think he wants some free dessert.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600