Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

One Way Party Invitations Cause Hurt Feelings in Kids

DEAR ABBY: I am a 73-year-old single lady. I've been alone and lonely for 14 years, ever since my husband died. I recently met a man, "Gerald," who is five years younger than me. His wife died a year ago. Our chemistry is wonderful -- he seems to be the answer to my prayers.

So what's my problem? Gerald wears a vial around his neck that contains some of his wife's ashes. While the thought is sweet and touching, it makes me uncomfortable when he is making love to me. He says he cares for me, and I know I care for him. How should I handle this? -- SECOND TIME AROUND

DEAR SECOND: Tell Gerald you don't want his wife's ashes to come between you. So when he's making love to you, he should remove them from his neck and put them in a place of respect -- preferably out of your range of vision. That should do the trick.