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by Abigail Van Buren

Good Manners at Funerals Show Respect for Family

DEAR ABBY: I am being married in September and am faced with a problem. My aunt has asked me if a picture of my grandfather, who recently passed away, may be placed on the altar. The question shocked me. I didn't know how to respond. Is this appropriate? I don't want to make a joyful event depressing. -- BRIDE-TO-BE, NORFOLK, VA.

DEAR BRIDE-TO-BE: It doesn't have to be depressing. Placing a small photograph of your grandfather on the altar would be a sensitive and loving gesture. A short reading could be dedicated to your departed grandfather who is with you in spirit -- a sentimental warm-up for the main event.