DEAR ABBY: I am a 70-year-old male. I have had erectile dysfunction for five years. I am sure this was the cause of my last divorce. I like to date women, but when it's time to initiate a physical relationship, I usually move on.
When I showed no interest in sex, one woman asked if I was gay. Another went so far as to ask me to "prove it."
I have a heart condition, diabetes, and the medicine I am prescribed prevents me from taking Viagra.
Abby, how do I handle this gracefully? -- JUST WANT TO DATE IN MODESTO, CALIF.
DEAR JUST: You don't owe these women an explanation unless you're considering a committed relationship. I see no reason to disclose your medical problems before that.
Continue dating. Don't isolate yourself. Many women out there are just looking for companionship, too. You will find someone. Trust me!
DEAR ABBY: I just lost my husband. He was 61 years old and suffered a massive coronary at home. Taking care of all the things a "new" widow must do has been very hard.
My husband had been married before, briefly, in the 1960s. When I contacted the Social Security office, they told me I would have to provide a copy of his divorce papers -- among other documents -- before I could receive his widow benefits. (Thank God his mother is still living and could tell me which city to contact and the approximate year of the divorce.)
I am writing this for the benefit of other women who are second and third wives. NOW is the time to get the divorce papers from their husbands' previous marriages. Doing it while you are grief-stricken is very stressful. -- HANGING BY A THREAD, TULSA, OKLA.
DEAR HANGING BY A THREAD: Please accept my condolences for the sudden loss of your beloved husband. I am sure many couples will be grateful that you made it a point at this difficult time to warn them.
You now need all of the support you can get, and I do not mean just financial. I hope you will find a grief-support group to help you through. Many readers have written to tell me how helpful they are. Please let me know how you are in six months. I care.
DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for 23 years. Last week she got a letter from an old boyfriend, and she called him. I can understand why this guy is curious, and I don't mind that she called him, but they've been meeting for coffee.
I am not a jealous person, but I don't understand what he wants. I feel she should have just said "thanks for calling," and let that be the end of it.
We have never had any problems in our marriage, but I feel we are now definitely headed for one. Got any suggestions? -- WORRIED IN WICHITA
DEAR WORRIED: It's time for you to meet this old beau. The next time they have a coffee date, you should be included. It may put your fears to rest -- or alert you that trouble is brewing.
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