DEAR ABBY: I don't know whether it's "the pill," the feminist movement or some other factor, but the assumption that it's men who are always "on the make" just ain't true anymore.
My wife goes on occasional short foreign mission trips with groups of people from several congregations. Whenever she's away, several women in our church make a point of telling me how "good" I am to let her go. (Two of the three are married; the other is a widow.) All three of them have offered to "do anything" for me -- and they do mean ANYTHING.
I'm afraid if I tell my wife she'll stop making the trips, which she finds very fulfilling. If I don't tell her, I'm afraid sooner or later one of these women might feel scorned and do something to get me in trouble with my wife. Help! -- BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE, KNOXVILLE, TENN.
DEAR BETWEEN: Keep your distance from the predators, tell your wife what they are up to, and assure her she has nothing to worry about.
Since they are all churchgoing women, remind the three sirens of the commandment against coveting thy neighbor's spouse -- and pray that they get the message.
DEAR ABBY: My neighbor "Lil" has a son the same age as mine -- 4. They enjoy playing together. The problem is Lil's husband. I'll call him Jake. Jake is an admitted drug user. Lil has kicked him out twice, but she takes him back when he promises to stay straight. Attempts at rehabilitation are usually abandoned in a few weeks.
My husband thinks I should sever all ties with Lil because of Jake's behavior. If I do, our sons will be the ones who suffer. I see no reason why Lil and her son can't come to our house so the children may play together. Jake is aware of our feelings and knows he's not welcome.
My husband is adamant about me not socializing with Lil. I try to stay neutral, but the stress of being in the middle is starting to take its toll. Is there a happy ending to this difficult situation? -- STUCK IN THE MIDDLE
DEAR STUCK: Lil and the boy are blameless. Your husband is judgmental and controlling. How would he react if the situation were reversed?
Either put your foot down and assert your rights to disagree with your husband -- or be prepared to live the rest of your life under his thumb. The choice is yours.
DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with "Sid" for two years, but things haven't been good between us for the last eight months. We called off our wedding but are still dating. I care for Sid, but sometimes I feel we have reached a dead end.
I recently met another man, "Larry," who wants to date me. Larry is very nice and says he'll understand if we don't date right now -- he's willing to wait.
Abby, I feel I should be by myself for a while. I haven't told Sid anything yet. I don't want to hurt him. What should I do? -- CONFUSED IN SOUTH CAROLINA
DEAR CONFUSED: Listen to your intuition and end the relationship with Sid. If this romance was meant to be, the wedding would have gone on as planned.
P.S. Being alone for a while before becoming involved with someone else is an excellent idea.
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
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