For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Erroneous Tax Tip May Send Taxpayers in Wrong Direction
DEAR ABBY: I am responding to the letter from "Tax Tips From a Professional," who offered some helpful income tax filing suggestions. The tax preparer made some excellent points.
However, point No. 7 was incorrect. The Internal Revenue Service no longer issues "temporary" Individual Tax Identification Numbers (ITIN). The process for securing a permanent ITIN is as follows: Complete application form W-7 and take the completed form to the local Internal Revenue Service office along with two forms of identification. The local IRS office will forward your application to the Philadelphia Service Center for processing. They generally issue the ITIN within four to six weeks.
Abby, please inform your readers as soon as possible to avoid the rush at the IRS offices from people attempting to take advantage of this erroneous data. Thank you. -- ANNE HAMILTON DAYE, TAX RESOLUTION REPRESENTATIVE, IRS, DURHAM, N.C.
DEAR ANNE: Thank you for correcting the erroneous information in "Tax Tips From a Professional's" letter. I am grateful -- and I'm sure my readers will be, too.
DEAR ABBY: I am in my last semester of graduate school. I am also in the midst of planning a June wedding. I already have contracts with the caterer, florist, photographer, etc., but my mother still complains about "loose ends." We have agreed on almost everything -- except for one thing: the wedding night.
My mother says that after the wedding reception, the bride and groom "traditionally" go back to the mother-of-the-bride's house to say thank you. After that, we can be free to go to our hotel room.
Abby, my wedding reception will end around 10 p.m. My mother's house is 30 minutes in the opposite direction. The flight to our honeymoon destination leaves at 9 o'clock the following morning. If we go from the reception to my mother's house, we won't get to the hotel until after midnight. My fiance thinks this is another way Mother is trying to control me.
Have you ever heard of my mother's "tradition"? -- WHAT'S UP WITH MOM?
DEAR WHAT'S UP: No, I haven't. I think your fiance is on to something. Take your mother aside at the reception and thank her profusely for all she has done. Then put on your running shoes and head for the hotel.
DEAR ABBY: Our neighbors have built a chicken coop along the fence that separates our back yards. They have eight chickens and roosters running around inside. It is a split-rail fence so all the "critters," feed bags and other equipment can be seen through the chicken wire.
These neighbors are also friends. The wife baby-sits for us and we have daily contact. We feel they should have asked us if the chickens bothered us; however, it is all on their property.
Abby, we don't know whether to put up a solid fence along that section, plant some bushes, or just forget about it. What would you do? -- TOO CHICKEN TO SPEAK UP
DEAR TOO CHICKEN: Your neighbors sound like a flock of good people. Be a good egg and plant some attractive, fast-growing shrubbery along that section of the property line. Unless there is a code that restricts raising chickens, they haven't committed a "fowl."
Do It Yourselfers Offer Ways to Fix Rear End Damage
DEAR ABBY: "Watching My Assets" put a dent in the door of his friend's pickup when he closed it by pushing it with his rear end. Please pass on this information: In newer cars, one can take off the door panel and pop the bent body back out. Only minor paint damage will remain to be repaired. Most repair persons won't tell you this because repairs are their bread and butter.
Another "fix-it" for such a problem is to put dry ice on the spot. Due to contraction, the dent will pop out. It doesn't work on all materials, but on many. This is an old science trick -- hope it helps. -- SCIENCE TEACHER AND BACKYARD MECHANIC
DEAR S.T. AND B.M.: Yours is not the only letter that arrived from helpful readers wanting to resolve "Asset's" problem. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Watching My Assets" reminded me of a similar incident that happened to me many years ago. My friend "Carmen" "rear-ended" my passenger door while trying to close the already locked door and she, too, left a large dent.
Without a moment's hesitation she asked if I had a toilet plunger (we had just pulled up to my home). Plunger in place, out popped the dent! Good as new, no insurance claim necessary. -- GENIE SAFFREN, LOS ANGELES
DEAR GENIE: The longer I write this column, the more I learn from readers. Your letter is a hoot. I wonder if that solution would work today on cars that are made largely from plastic instead of metal. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Watching My Assets," who had a question about whether or not a claim should be filed under his friend's insurance policy, prompts my own.
Your answer was wrong for a few reasons. Yes, his friend should file a claim. This was an accident. Granted, it was not your run-of-the-mill accident, but it was an accident. If the guilty party wants to help his friend, he should volunteer to pay the deductible.
Second, the only time an accident counts against you is if you are the majority at fault -- in California, 51 percent or more at fault -- for the accident. In this case, the person filing the claim would not have his rates go up or have his policy canceled.
Please advise your readers that if they are in an accident and have ANY questions, to refer the question to their insurance agent. After all, they are paying a premium for insurance, and if they get into an accident, the person who sold them the policy is obligated to help them out. -- ADJUSTING CLAIMS FOR AAA IN FRESNO, CALIF.
DEAR CLAIMS ADJUSTER: Thank you for pointing that out. I'm grateful for the reminder. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: You were correct in advising "Watching" that although it was unintentional, he did, indeed, damage his friend's door by denting it with his posterior. Therefore, he is the one who should be responsible for the repair.
He should be able to put in a claim under his homeowner's or renter's liability coverage, since it covers damage to other people's property, as well as injury to others.
Hope this information is helpful, Abby. -- BEA IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR BEA: You bet it is. Thank you for the golden nugget of information.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Ex Wife's Poor Parenting Raises Godfather's Concern
DEAR ABBY: My wife and I divorced 11 years ago. We had no children together. However, for the past eight years -- since the birth of her son -- we have lived together. I love the boy with all my heart and soul. Although I am not his biological father, I am his Catholic godfather, and most definitely his "dad."
His mother and I do not have a good relationship. If it were not for this little boy, I would not want to be around her. She sleeps with him in his bed each and every night -- and often bathes with him. She is sometimes nude; other times, she wears a bikini.
Abby, my concern is for my "son." I am turning to you for help. The counseling my ex-wife and I received from a doctor of psychology didn't help, because she rejected the advice. Things around here have become so volatile, I am desperate for any suggestion you can offer. -- BEYOND WORRY
DEAR BEYOND WORRY: Most experts in child development think that as boys and girls reach the age when they become curious about sex, sleeping and bathing nude with a parent of the opposite sex is unhealthfully stimulating.
However, if your former wife won't listen to you, and ignores a Ph.D. in psychology, she's not likely to accept advice from me. Perhaps the problem will resolve itself when the boy is old enough to tell his mother to find other sleeping arrangements.
P.S. All three of you could benefit from family counseling.
DEAR ABBY: Seven years ago, you received a letter from Prisoner No. 711895. Today, you are reading a letter from "Mark," a proud and productive member of society. I am not proud of my past, but I have made positive changes in my life.
I have worked at the same job since I was released from prison six years ago. I am now one of the top managers in the company. My children see a father who is not perfect, but willing to talk about mistakes and learn from them. My parents see a son who has finally grown up. They tell me they are very proud of me.
Abby, I want you and others to know I am not letting the fact I carry the stigma of being a felon define me. I am a man who works hard, takes care of his family and has learned from his mistakes. I am proud of who I am today. -- MARK IN SEATTLE
P.S. Last month I had coffee with the officer who arrested me eight years ago. I thanked him for saving my life.
DEAR MARK: I salute you. You are living proof that with hard work and determination, rehabilitation is an attainable goal after release from prison. I hope that people who are currently incarcerated will see your letter and realize that one day, they, too, can become productive members of society.
DEAR ABBY: A few months ago you published a letter from "Proud Mom," who had a child out of wedlock. The father supports the child financially, but does not see him. She wondered if she should tell the parents of the child's father they had a grandson. You opened the advice up to readers, but I haven't seen the results of this important question. Did I miss a column? -- ANOTHER PROUD MOM IN FLORIDA
DEAR ANOTHER PROUD MOM: No, you didn't -- and thank you for the reminder. The response I received from readers was a virtual tie. Half of those who wrote felt "Proud Mom" should keep her mouth shut. The other half believed she should inform the grandparents that they have a grandson, and let them choose whether or not to have a relationship with him. Belated thanks to the hundreds of you who responded.
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)