DEAR ABBY: I know you don't get many letters from 12-year-old girls, but something has been bothering me for the past five weeks, and I thought maybe you could help me.
My school had a dance three weeks ago. I've had a good friend for four years, and I asked if he wanted to go with me. He said no. Since he said no, I have been devastated. Not because he said no, but because since that time when I pass him in the hall at school, he won't look at or talk to me.
It doesn't matter if we ever go out on a date. All that matters is that we once again become the good friends we were before I asked him to the dance. If I could tell him I'm sorry in front of a million people, I would. I wish we were good friends again. -- FEELING LOW IN SOUTH CAROLINA
DEAR FEELING LOW: Be patient. The boy was probably embarrassed because he is socially awkward. Continue to smile and say hello when you see him in the hall. In a few years, his hormones will kick in, and he'll catch up to your level of maturity.
DEAR ABBY: I am 17 and pregnant. My boyfriend and I have made the heartbreaking decision to place our son for adoption. We reached this decision because we want to make sure this child has everything he needs and deserves.
My boyfriend's mother feels we are taking "the easy way out" and not accepting responsibility for our actions. Abby, we have definitely found nothing "easy" about choosing adoption. We want his mother's support in our decision and want her to realize we ARE being responsible by giving our son the best life possible, and her attitude has deeply affected my boyfriend and me.
Please ask your readers to support their children's decisions, regardless of personal feelings. Parental support is worth more than words can say. -- HEARTBROKEN IN OHIO
DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Your boyfriend's mother's attitude will affect you only as long as you let it. Please do not allow her to make you feel guilty for the decision you have made. You and your boyfriend made a deeply personal choice that only the two of you could make. If it is of any comfort to you, I support you in your decision.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 39-year-old single woman. While growing up, my father physically threatened me, and verbally abused me with insults, put-downs and vulgar language. My mother and I haven't had anything to do with him for 15 years.
My father is now very ill and doesn't have long to live. He leaves me angry voice-mail messages because I refuse to take care of him.
Abby, am I being a bad daughter for not wanting to subject myself to his abuse? -- NEEDING HELP IN MARYLAND
DEAR NEEDING HELP: Definitely not. Give your father the name of a licensed attendant-care agency in his area. They are listed in the telephone yellow pages. Attendants are trained to handle the needs of ill and disabled people.
Don't feel guilty for protecting yourself from a man who obviously hasn't changed in the last 15 years.
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