DEAR ABBY: I am a professional woman marrying another professional woman. We have lived together for two years and are able to communicate very well. We are growing and changing beautifully as partners.
Because it is not legal in the state where we live, we will be going to Vermont for a private ceremony. My question: How do we approach the wedding reception with those family members who are not "comfortable" with it? We don't want anyone to feel slighted, but at the same time, we don't want to deprive those members of the family who offer support and take joy in our union. Do we invite everyone and just see who shows up? -- NEEDS TO KNOW
DEAR NEEDS TO KNOW: Send invitations to everyone you would like to have at your reception, including those who are not comfortable with your union. If they don't wish to attend, they will decline. You already know some of them will not welcome this marriage, but extending the invitation will show them that you want to encourage close family relationships. And you may be surprised that some of them may put aside their misgivings in the interests of family unity.