DEAR ABBY: I'm a 27-year-old woman with a master's degree. I have a great job at an Internet company. Last summer, my closest friends and I traveled to three foreign countries, saw four plays, three baseball games, one soccer match and seven concerts. So what could possibly be the problem?
My family is concerned that I do not have a boyfriend. They can't understand how I can be 27 and unmarried, let alone without a "significant other." My father is worried that my "eggs will dry up"; my mother "only wants me to be happy." Mother calls only to ask if I am dating anyone, and when I tell her about my adventures, she always says it would be so much nicer with a boyfriend.
I know people have more serious problems, but this is something many single people deal with, and quite frankly, it is very frustrating. There are many more facets to my life than husband-hunting, but my parents aren't interested in anything else.
Abby, please tell your readers who are parents that a constant barrage of relationship questions every time they talk to their child is not going to make it happen any faster. When it does happen, we will joyfully tell them all about it. -- SINGLE AND PSYCHED IN HOBOKEN, N.J.
DEAR SINGLE AND PSYCHED: I'll go even further than you're asking me to. Parents who constantly harp on the "have you found a boyfriend (or girlfriend)" question subtly undermine their children's self-esteem, force them into a defensive posture, and reduce their likelihood of finding someone. People who are happy with their lives and proud of their accomplishments are far more attractive candidates for a meaningful relationship than those who are made to feel their achievements and interests are not important.