TO ALL MY JEWISH READERS, A HAPPY HANUKKAH!
DEAR ABBY: I wrote the enclosed essay for our newsletter here at the Lutheran Apartments and thought you might like to share it with your readers. Although I'm retired, I am still listed in "Marquis Who's Who in Entertainment." I haven't the slightest idea of why I'm in that series -- since at 79 I am too old to sing or dance, and my jokes are ancient. -- MYRON J. QUIMBY, ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.
DEAR MYRON: No one is too old to sing or kick up his heels if he feels like it. Clever humor never goes out of style. I'm delighted to share your essay with my readers:
REMEMBER THE "GOOD OLD DAYS"?
I frequently hear people talk about the "good old days."
As I recall, those were the days when you could buy a loaf of bread or a quart of milk for a dime, a hot dog or even a tamale for a nickel. But they were also the days when millions of people didn't HAVE a dime or even a nickel. Fathers were anxious to work and so were 12 million others, but there were no jobs to be had.
Those were the days when you could skate or ride your bicycle on the streets without fear of being hit by a car. But they were also the days when parents couldn't afford to buy skates, a bicycle, and certainly not a car. Ah, the "good old days"!
It was a time when you could go to sleep with all your windows open (no air conditioning), or leave your home and not even lock the door. There was little fear of being robbed. But it was also a time when you really didn't have anything worth stealing, anyhow.
Lest we forget, it was a time of hunger, fear of tuberculosis, polio, and a host of childhood diseases. Our parents were old at 40, and if they lived to be 60 they were ANCIENT!
Today, we cure tuberculosis and prevent polio, mumps, measles and even chickenpox. So the next time you hear somebody talk about the "good old days," remind them of the "good days TODAY" -- and go smilingly on your way.
DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I plan to be married next spring. It has been decided that his mother is no longer welcome at the ceremony. We haven't come up with a polite way to tell her.
To avoid potential problems, we are considering going on a "vacation," during which we will be married with only a few friends in attendance.
Have you any other ideas? -- WE HAVE OUR REASONS
DEAR WE HAVE OUR REASONS: There is no polite way to tell your future mother-in-law she is no longer welcome to attend your wedding. An elopement would achieve your goal without humiliating her.
Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
Family of Christmas Loner Won't Leave Him in Peace
DEAR ABBY: I am a 45-year-old divorced man with no children. I have lived alone since my divorce 15 years ago and wouldn't have it any other way. I'm not anti-social. I have a steady girlfriend and many friends.
My problem is my family at Christmastime. Nobody in our family is particularly religious, so during family gatherings the holiday is not celebrated in the spiritual sense. Frankly, I find the "Ho, Ho, Ho" aspect of the holiday overblown and am relieved when it is over. I prefer to spend Christmas Day reading, catching up on home repairs, or -- weather permitting -- cross-country skiing or ice fishing.
My family insists I must get together with them simply because it's Christmas. I live within a half-hour of all of them and can get together with them whenever I like. However, they cannot accept the fact that I am not a "Christmas guy." (I still give nice gifts to all the kids and chip in on a big gift for my parents.)
My girlfriend accepts my decision and celebrates with her family, although deep down I suspect my "Grinchiness" does bother her.
Abby, I mean no disrespect and wish them all a merry Christmas, but how can I convince them that I prefer to spend the holidays alone? -- CHRISTMAS LONER AND LOVING IT
DEAR CHRISTMAS LONER: It may be difficult to do, because your perception of a merry Christmas is so different from theirs, and your attitude isn't shared by the majority of people. What you have failed to consider is the fact that Christmas is traditionally a family holiday -- and to your parents and siblings (and your girlfriend), you are an important part of the family picture.
However, since you are uncomfortable with the family celebrations, tell your relatives that this is your quirk and you expect them to respect it. Eventually, they'll get over their disappointment. Enjoy your home repairs, cross-country skiing and ice fishing, and in the words of the Bard, "... to thine own self be true."
DEAR ABBY: I have read your column for years and was delighted to read another of your "pennies from heaven" letters from Lisa Angilano of Berea, Ohio, concerning her brother who was killed in a car crash. I also lost a brother last year in a car accident.
After reading the paper, I went to my usual morning Mass and decided to ask the Lord to let me know if my brother was in heaven, along with a sister and my mother who had also passed away.
I prayed to find some pennies from heaven to let me know. Later that morning, I went to the post office and when I came out, I found three pennies clustered together in an empty parking space next to my car. I was moved to tears. Now I know they are all there. -- GRATEFUL IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR GRATEFUL: If you had any misgivings, I'm pleased they were put to rest. Your experience proves the truth of the saying, "When in doubt, send money!"
Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Neighborhood Charity Project Spreads Joy to Those in Need
DEAR ABBY: Thank you for your column about appropriate gifts for seniors. Like many families, we, too, have wrestled with the "what do we get for people who have everything?" gift dilemma. Last year, our family finally hit upon a solution. We discussed it with our grandparents. They agreed that it would be more charitable for us to give something to people who lack everyday necessities.
We adopted a battered children's shelter. Those little ones are truly refugees. They need everything from toothbrushes and hairbrushes to baby formula and diapers -- not to mention toys and games.
To our delight, our neighbors got involved in our project, too. For weeks, on Thursdays, neighbors would leave donations in a sack by their mailbox, and we would pick them up. Our goal was for every child in that shelter to wake up on Christmas morning to find packages of necessities and a few playthings.
The project created so much excitement among our neighbors that we collected enough for two shelters. There were pillows, socks, underwear, bath products, cold medicines, books, towels, baby clothes, etc. Each child also got a large gift basket, including a nonbreakable tree ornament to help him or her remember this holiday. The cost was small when spread over so many families, but the rewards couldn't have been greater. We felt our project embodied the true spirit of Christmas. It sensitized our children to the needs of others all year long.
Because it was one of the best holidays we have ever had, we're repeating the drive again this year. When people join together, everyone CAN make a difference. -- SANTA'S HELPERS IN PHOENIX
DEAR SANTA'S HELPERS: They certainly can. Witness the incredible amounts of money raised by the Red Cross and the fund for the families of the people who perished in the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks.
With that in mind, I hope that readers will be sensitive to the needs of charities in their local communities this year. Because monies that would ordinarily have been donated to local charities were diverted to the East Coast tragedies, many charities in other parts of the country are having difficulty raising enough to meet their budgets for 2001. Remember, folks, charity begins at home -- and by that I mean the communities in which you dwell.
DEAR ABBY: You should be arrested for printing that hilarious story about Bud the St. Bernard. While I was driving alone on the freeway, I remembered reading about him in your column and began to laugh hysterically. I'm sure the other drivers thought I was mad!
What a dog! The woman who was stared down by Bud didn't get the message. For some reason, Bud didn't approve of her and cleverly spooked her away. That great animal should run for office. -- STILL LAUGHING, ENCINO, CALIF.
DEAR STILL LAUGHING: Whether Bud approved of her is beside the point. The woman was a guest in his owner's house. As long as the owner is home -- and presumably in charge -- the owner is supposed to be the one who decides who is welcome.
If Bud had been my dog and pulled that routine, he would have found himself in the doghouse in more ways than one.
Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)