DEAR ABBY: My brother-in-law's father recently passed away. We had met him several times, but were unable to travel to the funeral services.
My husband and I want to share our sympathies with the family, but we don't know to whom we should send our condolences -- my brother-in-law, his mother or both. What is proper in this situation? -- WONDERING IN WASHINGTON
DEAR WONDERING: Send an individual note of sympathy to each of them. While one letter might suffice, they are both grieving and would appreciate a personal message acknowledging their loss.