DEAR ABBY: I am a 17-year-old high school student. Until I was 13, I did some modeling and my mother entered me in beauty pageants. I constantly worried about my appearance and considered myself ugly if I didn't win. At 13, I began what my mother called "the ugly years."
At my last pageant, the judge told me I was gaining some "chub" and needed to lose weight. After that, I became bulimic for a year. Fortunately, I realized what I was doing to myself and stopped bingeing and purging.
During the four years I have not competed in pageants, I've become happier and more self-confident. My mother recently told me that now that I'm through the "ugly" stage, it is time to begin modeling again.
Abby, I don't think I can do it. I never told my mother about my bulimia, and she refuses to listen to my reasons for not wanting to model. I don't want her to know about this disorder, especially since I am over it. What should I do? -- NO NEED TO SHOW OFF
DEAR NO NEED: Tell your mother exactly what her ambition cost you the first time around. It's time she stopped projecting her own ambitions on you. At 17, you are nearly an adult. Under no circumstances should you allow yourself to be pushed into a career that's potentially so damaging to your physical and emotional health.