For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: I have sad news. Unfortunately, we are forced to cancel Operation Dear Abby for the 2001 holiday season. Recent mail-related attacks have demonstrated the vulnerability of the postal system. As a result, mail handling has become more sensitive and time-consuming. The increased volume of mail resulting from Operation Dear Abby, coupled with the increased manpower effort for Force Protection, has the potential of impacting both the quality of service and, more important, the safety provided to our military personnel.
Operation Dear Abby creates an avenue to introduce mail into the system from unknown sources. Our primary concern is the safety of the members of the armed forces who are forward-deployed in defense of our country.
I want to personally thank you for your long and distinguished service to the members of the armed forces of the United States of America. Your efforts and the efforts of your readers are acknowledged and appreciated by all service members. -- CAPT. E.M. DUCOM, U.S. NAVY, DEPUTY DIRECTOR, MILITARY POSTAL SERVICE AGENCY
DEAR CAPT. DUCOM: Thank you. I know your message will come as a disappointment to the many thousands of patriotic Americans who for the past 16 years have joyfully participated in sending cards and letters to our servicemen and women, and who had looked forward to Operation Dear Abby this year. While I, too, am extremely disappointed, I know I speak for my readers when I say the safety of our military personnel is paramount.
DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have enjoyed a happy marriage for the past nine years. We are financially secure and have a beautiful 2-year-old daughter. Aside from the occasional disagreement, I have had no complaints about our relationship.
However, my wife has taken up an activity that has begun to trouble me. It began about three years ago, when she resolved to make preparations in case of her untimely death. She purchased a life insurance policy and made out her will. This seems reasonable to me, but in addition, she also wrote her own eulogy. At the time I thought it was strange, but understandable. After all, it is important to be properly remembered.
What is disturbing is that my wife has begun revising her eulogy to include the major events of her life as they happen. She has done it more than 20 times since originally making out the speech. It has become her hobby. In fact, upon recently returning from a good friend's wedding, she spent the better part of a Saturday working the experience into her document.
This pastime cannot be healthy. How can my wife live her life if she constantly reminds herself of her death? We have discussed this several times. She doesn't understand why this bothers me, nor does she particularly want to talk about it. Am I worrying for nothing? -- CONCERNED HUSBAND IN THE SOUTH
DEAR CONCERNED: Your wife's new hobby is bizarre, but if she is exhibiting no signs of depression or personality changes, it's probably nothing to worry about. She may feel she has no control over how she will die, but can control what's said about her. Or perhaps she's a frustrated writer. I am intrigued, however, how she got it into her that someone attending her funeral would be interested in hearing about the weddings she has attended. At the rate she's going, your wife may have the longest funeral in history.
Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.
Patriots Are Ordinary People With Extraordinary Courage
DEAR READERS: Today, Veterans Day, we celebrate the sacrifice and patriotism of our nation's military. Many gave their lives to guarantee our freedom. We owe our veterans and those men and women currently serving in the military a deep debt of gratitude. I salute you all, as do my readers.
In honor of Veterans Day, I'm reprinting an essay on patriotism that was written by the granddaughter of Phyl Erickson of Coon Rapids, Minn. The young lady, Jenna Guimaraes, was only 12 at the time, but she understood the importance of this aspect of our freedom.
PATRIOTISM
by Jenna Guimaraes
"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."
Every day my classmates and I recite this oath. By doing so, we promise to be true to our country, ourselves and our fellow Americans.
In school we study the history of our country, learning about those who lived long ago, who stood up for their beliefs, risked their lives, homes and safety to give promise to a better life to their descendants. Because of these people, our country is a great place to live.
Though we are younger than most countries, many look up to us for protection, leadership, support and friendship.
Patriotism can be shown in many ways, even by ordinary people. Mary Hays, otherwise known as Molly Pitcher, is one of them.
Molly Pitcher carried water to the soldiers during the Revolutionary War. When one of the soldiers fell from heat stroke, Molly shot the cannon for him. Molly loved her country so much that she risked her life in battle, even at a time when women didn't fight.
We don't have to risk our lives to show our patriotism, but I am grateful to those who did.
DEAR ABBY: I've been corresponding with this great, wealthy guy named "Howard." We met through an introduction service and exchanged photographs. During our telephone conversation last night, he mentioned that he doesn't like women who have had breast implants. Howard likes chesty girls -- which I am -- but I DO have breast implants. He told me this after I purchased a nonrefundable plane ticket to meet him at his home in Los Angeles.
Howard says I'm gorgeous, but he assumes I am naturally endowed. Abby, I wanted to tell him, but since I have already purchased the ticket, I think the best thing to do is to tell him face-to-face. I know he will be hurt because he is clearly smitten with me -- and the feeling is mutual.
We have a ton in common, and despite his wealth, I find him down-to-earth and kind. I am a sincere person and don't want to pull the wool over his eyes. Have you any suggestions on how I should handle this? -- D CUP IN DETROIT
DEAR D: Once he meets you in person, he may realize that your finer qualities -- all of which come from within -- outweigh your two faults. If he doesn't, then the loss is his.
Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
School Breakfast Programs Give Kids a Needed Boost
DEAR ABBY: I am a grandmother who volunteers in a third-grade class. Last week, a child I was reading to turned to me and said, "Grandma, have you ever been so hungry that you couldn't play at recess?" It broke my heart that an 8-year-old girl could get her brother and herself off to school, but not have food for breakfast.
Of course, our elementary school has a free breakfast program. The irony is that some parents would rather send their children to school hungry than sign them up.
Unfortunately, many children complain of hunger during the school day. My teachers and I have started a classroom pantry so we can provide a nutritious snack to any student who, because of hunger, struggles to read, solve an arithmetic problem or play actively on the school grounds.
Abby, please let parents know that their children need nourishment in the mornings. Most schools provide breakfast and lunch for free or at reduced rates. Being well-fed will help their children succeed in school. -- VOLUNTEER GRANDMA
DEAR GRANDMA: I'm pleased to print your letter. Everyone should know that breakfast has long been considered the most important meal of the day. Schools should remind parents that nutrition programs are offered to students who need them.
If parents fail to sign up their children for breakfasts or lunches out of some misguided sense of pride, the teacher or principal of the school should make sure the parents are aware of the importance of the program. If that fails, then child protective services should be informed of the plight of truly neglected children.
DEAR ABBY: I am an atheist. I keep this to myself most of the time because of people's misunderstanding and fear. Over the years, a number of people I cared about drifted away once I told them about my beliefs.
I'd like to share with you and your readers what I do and do not believe in:
(1) I believe in the Golden Rule.
(2) I believe each human life is precious; indeed, all life is precious.
(3) Terrible things have been done in the name of religion, but in the end, I believe much good has come to the world because of religious beliefs.
(4) I don't believe in God or any other supernatural being, including the devil.
(5) I believe with death we cease to exist. Therefore, while we are here on Earth it is our job to treat each other and ourselves with care and do as little damage as possible.
America is based on freedom of -- or freedom from -- religion. It's uncomfortable feeling that I continually need to conceal my true beliefs from others.
Thank you for listening. -- STILL A GOOD PERSON
DEAR STILL: As recent events have proven, many evil acts have been done in the name of religion. While atheists are in the minority, you owe no one an apology for your feelings; they are your own. We live in a free country, and freedom means being free to believe what you want to believe.
Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.
Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)
to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)