DEAR ABBY: Our oldest daughter "Bonnie" has just entered into her second relationship since her recent divorce. We are concerned that she continually uproots our grandchildren to move to a different place. We feel it's time a woman in her 30s "settled down" and gave her children a stable home environment. The father of the children was killed in an unfortunate accident.
Each time she claims to be "in love" and expects us to welcome her new man when we have barely had time to adjust to the last one. Our youngest daughter, "June," feels as we do. Consequently, the two girls no longer speak.
Our dilemma: Since we all live far away from each other, we get together once a year for a family reunion. We always stay with June and her family because Bonnie has never had a spare room until now. Our reunion is coming up, and because of the rift we won't all be together. We would like to see Bonnie and the grandchildren, but are not interested in meeting her new man or traveling to her new home.
How can I diplomatically explain to Bonnie and settle on a neutral place to meet without any hurt feelings? -- CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE
DEAR CAUGHT: There is no way you can do that, so I urge you to rethink your plan of action. You are not helping your daughter, Bonnie, to make "wise choices" by making her feel like an outcast. If June doesn't want to speak to her -- fine. But Bonnie has suffered enough tragedy and disappointment without your adding to her grief. Punishing her will only widen the rift.