DEAR ABBY: My name is Lindsay, and I recently turned 14. I wanted to go to the mall with this guy who is 16, but my mom said not until I am 16. She said I can go out with groups when I am 14 and 15 -- but I can't go out with guys even if I'm not really dating them.
I feel she doesn't trust me because I really like to hang out with my guy friend, but she obviously has a problem with it. I think it might be because my older sister had a baby at 17. When I asked her, she said that wasn't it.
I need to know how to get my mother to let me go out so I can have some fun in my life and not feel I'm being imprisoned. Please help. -- PRISONER AT 14
DEAR 14: Trust is built on confidence, and it takes time to build confidence. Your mother may seem overly protective to you, but she's only doing what many parents do these days. She wants you to have the protection of being in a group.
One way to increase your mother's level of confidence in you is by volunteering information about what you are doing and confiding in her. And when you are asked to do something, instead of complaining about it -- do it. Don't make excuses. Perform like a mature adult and try to see things from her perspective, and you'll earn your mother's respect. She's a wise and caring parent, and she deserves it.