Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Planning Helps Students Get Good Letter of Recommendation

DEAR ABBY: My ex-wife and I divorced several years ago. After a three-year court fight, I was awarded custody of our two daughters. In spite of this, my ex and I are on friendly terms. I have remarried and have a stepchild. My ex had a baby by a man who is now locked up for two years in a drug rehab facility. She has just informed me that she's planning on moving in with another man and wanted me to know he is a registered sex offender. I looked it up on the Internet and learned he committed aggravated assault on a 10-year-old child.

Abby, I am concerned about sending my girls over to stay with their mother on weekends. I want to trust her judgment, but not at the risk of jeopardizing my children. I went to my mom for advice. All she could say was, "I know you will do the right thing."

I don't know what to do. I want my ex to be happy. Maybe this is the soul mate she's been looking for, but I can't help being concerned about my children's safety. What should I do? -- A DAD IN A DILEMMA

DEAR DAD: Your ex-wife told you about her boyfriend's criminal record to give you the opportunity to call the shots -- so do it. Since her taste in men is so poor, you must safeguard your daughters' welfare. Tell her for the children's safety, they will not be staying at her house.