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by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: I live in a three-bedroom apartment with two roommates. Since I was the last to move in, I have the smallest bedroom. Now, the person who occupies the largest bedroom is moving out, and I would like to move into his room. However, when I told him about this, he informed me that his cousin will be moving into the apartment after he leaves, and he will give the room to him.

I think this is unfair, since we all pay the same rent, and I have wanted that room for years. He feels he can do this because he was the one who lived here originally, and his parents are good friends with the landlord. I do not believe he should be able to make a decision that will go into effect after he is gone. Please advise. -- JIM IN THE HAMPTONS

DEAR JIM: Although your roommate's parents are friends of the landlord, this is business. The answer to your question might depend upon whose signature is on the lease for the apartment. Talk to your landlord.

P.S. Perhaps in the future, the person who occupies the largest bedroom should pay a larger share of the rent.

DEAR ABBY: I have a relative who is being married. The couple sent out two types of invitations: The first are embossed and elegant. The other is computer-generated and cheap-looking.

I think it was tasteless because, of course, I received the cheaper invitation, which indicates that my presence is not as important as those who received the nicer invitation.

I am no longer sure I will attend the ceremony. I value your opinion. What do you think I should do? -- ANONYMOUS IN MICHIGAN

DEAR ANONYMOUS: Feeling as you do, send the couple a lovely card wishing them every happiness and forgo attending the wedding.

DEAR ABBY: Several years ago, my grandson came to live with me. He is a single, working adult. Lately I've noticed mail that once came addressed to me now comes addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith." Telemarketers call for John Smith, and if my grandson is not home, ask for Mrs. Smith.

Abby, I am Mrs. Smith, but not Mrs. John Smith. One solicitor even asked if the co-owner of the house was available! I don't owe these people an explanation, but I do have to say something. Any suggestions? -- NOT MRS. JOHN SMITH, LOS ANGELES

DEAR NOT MRS. JOHN SMITH: Yes. First, apprise your grandson of the situation. Next, tell these callers you are "not interested," and to please remove your name from their list. Then hang up.

DEAR ABBY: While on our honeymoon, my wife called her first love and set up dinner for the three of us. Things were going well until I noticed she was looking at him with a little too much interest. She got upset with me when I mentioned it back in our honeymoon suite.

Later, she told me if I didn't let her go see him alone she would divorce me. She went and offered herself to him. He told her no man should go through what I had to go through on his honeymoon -- and he sent her back to me.

She asked my forgiveness and wants to get on with our lives. I look at her differently now and am trying to love her as I did before, but it's hard. What do you think? -- ALMOST JILTED ON THE JERSEY SHORE

DEAR ALMOST JILTED: Speak to a lawyer about an annulment. In my opinion, your marriage was over before it started.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

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