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by Abigail Van Buren

Planning Ahead Helps Families Achieve a Peaceful End to Life

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Bob" for seven months. We're both 25. I am in love with him. He is changing jobs and moving out of state in four months. I want to get married and start a family, but any mention of the word "marriage" makes him very nervous. He says he loves me -- that I am "perfect" for him -- but he doesn't want me to move out of state with him. He says he can't ask me to make that commitment because he's not sure what he wants.

Do you think I'm wasting my time with Bob, or should I give him more time and hope he changes his mind? -- COLORADO LADY IN WAITING

DEAR COLORADO LADY: I admire his honesty, and whether this has been a waste of time remains to be seen. Absence can make the heart grow fonder, so give him time to realize how much he cares for you and misses you.

If, three months after he moves, you see no change in attitude and he's still nervous at the mention of marriage, start looking for a man who is not afraid of commitment.