For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Commonsense Tips Guarantee Family Fun in the Mountains
DEAR ABBY: Summer is here. Many people are planning vacations in the Rocky Mountain West. On behalf of emergency response personnel, I offer the following tips when visiting Colorado, Wyoming, Montana, the Dakotas, Idaho and Utah:
1. Dress in layers and always have a medium-weight jacket. In elevations over 5,000 feet, it can snow during the summer, and nights can drop into the 30s.
2. Drink lots of water. Not sodas, coffee, etc. This will prevent dehydration.
3. Summer winds can reach 75 miles an hour. If you see trucks pulled over to the side of the road because of the wind, consider stopping yourself.
4. Be respectful of summer thunderstorms. Several people are killed each year by lightning. If you plan on hiking, leave early in the morning and be off the mountain after lunch. If you get caught in a storm, seek shelter immediately.
5. Children should carry a simple emergency kit in a fanny pack. It should include a snack, garbage bag (with a hole cut in the bottom) that can be used for shelter and warmth, a small bottle of water and a whistle. If they become separated from the group, instruct them to hug a tree and blow the whistle.
6. Use the "slip, slap, slop" technique for sun protection. Slip on a shirt, slap on a hat and slop on the sunscreen.
7. Never approach or feed any wildlife. They are not pets!
Use common sense. Follow these tips, and you should have a great vacation experience in the Rocky Mountain West! -- A WESTERNER
DEAR WESTERNER: Thank you on behalf of all my readers who plan to visit some of the world's most majestic scenery. It's important to be reminded that Mother Nature can turn treacherous if you are not prepared.
DEAR ABBY: I'd like to say something about computer-answered telephones.
Everywhere you call, you get a recording saying, "Punch one for this, punch two for that ..." and most of the numbers they tell you to punch have nothing to do with what you called about.
Grocery stores, utility offices, the telephone company, banks and Lord knows how many more businesses have machines to answer their phones. I wouldn't be surprised to hear a recording should I call for an ambulance or the police. It seems that every business in the world now uses recorded answering services.
I would like to know how many people would prefer that every business return to having live telephone operators or receptionists. I also think that everyone who becomes irritated by those recorded-menu answering machines and all those numbers to push should write to their governor, the president, congressional representatives or SOMEBODY to complain. -- TIRED OF PUSHING NUMBERS IN MARYSVILLE, TENN.
DEAR TIRED: Not a week goes by that I don't receive one or more letters with the same complaint. I have been known to ask my assistant to make calls for me because I get so frustrated with pushing "one for this" and "two for that." Although I understand why businesses have resorted to this impersonal answering method, the "personal" touch is far more conducive to a pleasant business experience.
Weight Loss Shower Scheme Brings Downpour of Response
DEAR ABBY: A woman wrote to ask you what you thought of the idea of a weight-loss shower for someone who had just shed 30 pounds. The "catch" to this shower was that the guests bring monetary gifts so the hostess could buy a new wardrobe to fit her smaller figure.
At first glance the idea seemed tacky to me. Just as with any other type of shower, it is inappropriate to specify a monetary gift in the invitation. Should someone inquire about gift ideas, the host could indicate that the honoree is trying to save up for a new wardrobe. However, there are many other suitable gifts for someone who has just lost weight. For example, guests could be asked to bring a copy of their favorite low-calorie recipes to be compiled into a scrapbook.
Losing unwanted pounds is no easy feat. If it were so easy, we would not have the obesity problems that we have in our society. I see it as an accomplishment to be proud of. Throwing someone a shower for this reason is certainly justified. -- NEW PORT RICHEY, FLA.
DEAR NEW PORT RICHEY: I love your idea about the diet-recipe shower. Yours was the most charitable response that letter generated. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: I have gained about 60 pounds in the past four years. Should I throw a party to give my friends the "opportunity" to "shower" me with money to buy new fat clothes? It would amount to exactly the same thing. There are already too many forced gift-giving occasions thrust upon us. My answer is: "No way. Boycott the shower!" -- FAT AND SASSY IN OKLAHOMA CITY
DEAR ABBY: The lady is to be congratulated for the weight loss, but she still has a lot of guts. -- JOHN IN VISTA, CALIF.
DEAR ABBY: "Twiggy" doesn't need new clothes yet. Fifteen pounds isn't enough. Her letter takes the cake! I know she said she lost 30 pounds, but isn't it pretty clear that the other 15 pounds was her marbles?
I had an ex-in-law who gave her daughter a "shower drawing." She didn't want to make the effort to give a party, so she brought a box of envelopes to our houses so we could pick one. Inside was a photo and the price of the gift you were "asked" to buy! I drew a four-piece set of Samsonite luggage: $169.99. (This was 1966.) My husband thought we should give the bride something in which to carry her honeymoon wardrobe, so he gave her two brown paper bags. Thank God it was his side of the family. Needless to say, we weren't invited to the wedding. -- ANONYMOUS IN FORT WORTH
DEAR ABBY: I'd tell the person who was throwing the weight-loss shower that for each 30 pounds she lost, I was donating $30 (a dollar for each pound) to the local homeless shelter. When I began losing weight, I privately vowed to put $10 in our church offering plate for each pound I lost. Twenty pounds and $200 later, the church "feed the homeless" fund is fattened, and I gladly have a slightly slimmer wallet. -- PUYALLUP, WASH.
DEAR ABBY:
A 30-pound weight loss? I think that's great!
It sure is hard to lose that weight.
With Weight Watchers, I've lost 23,
But all my new clothes were paid for by me.
"Pat" in our group lost 75,
And didn't ask for a "clothing drive."
But have a shower? That depends --
I'd forget the shower and keep my friends.
-- DOT PETERSON, MILLSBORO, DEL.
DEAR DOT: Congrats on a message very well said.
I think you've hit the nail on the head!
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Village Grows Tired of Raising Neighbors' Misbehaving Child
DEAR ABBY: I can relate to "Had It in Houston" regarding their neighbor's unruly, undisciplined child.
"Tom," our neighbor's 6-year-old boy, has not only inappropriately touched our children on the school bus, but was caught touching the exposed genitals of a younger neighborhood boy on two occasions. He roams the neighborhood, uses foul language, openly hits his older sister –- and his parents appear totally clueless. For two years they've allowed Tom's behavior to get worse. The mother is rarely home, and she pawns Tom and his siblings off on our neighbors and us.
We are on the verge of notifying Children's Protective Services, but we don't want to start a "hate thy neighbor" relationship. They are already a bit "chilly" toward us because their son's behavior has forced us to send him home a few times. His parents have said nothing directly to us, but they criticize us to the other neighbors, who are well aware of the problem.
We've considered moving, but why should we go through the expense of leaving a nice area because of this family's ignorance and irresponsibility? Abby, what should we do? -- FRUSTRATED IN FOREST PARK
DEAR FRUSTRATED: Call Child Protective Services immediately. Don't put it off any longer. Talk to your other neighbors about your plan. There is strength in numbers. The boy needs psychological counseling, and the parents need parenting classes. All adults have a responsibility to save a child who is in trouble. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: In response to the inquiry posed by "Concerned in Pennsylvania," regarding adults who survived child abuse and how they managed: My siblings and I were verbally, emotionally and occasionally physically abused by both of our parents and a stepparent. I would like to share a bit of our story.
One of the most critical coping techniques for us was the love and stability provided by other family members, especially our grandparents, who offered us shelter, unconditional love, and bottomless encouragement and support. We were also very fortunate to have teachers, counselors and coaches who believed in us and lifted us up in ways that we can never thank them enough for. Finally, we had a deep-rooted, but sometimes hidden, faith in God, each other and ourselves. In other words, what some might call a "survival instinct."
In short, our survival and our thriving can be attributed to the willingness and kindness of adults who cared enough to help us in ways large and small. To those persons, we can never fully convey our thanks in words, but we can in deeds –- by becoming normal, productive and kind adults who contribute positively to society. -- A GRATEFUL SURVIVOR IN CRETNA, LA.
DEAR SURVIVOR: Your letter says it all. Thanks for writing.
CONFIDENTIAL TO ROSE PHILLIPS IN MINNEAPOLIS: Happy birthday to the most wonderful mother-in-law a person could wish for!
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)