Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Booklets, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)
Blood Donors Work Miracles for Those Struggling to Live
DEAR ABBY: May I comment on the letter from "Little Abby's Mom" regarding the need for blood donors? I delivered my second child three months premature. He had many of the problems that premature babies go through. While he was in the neonatal ICU, his bone marrow stopped making red blood cells, and he needed two transfusions. None of my family members were able to donate blood for him, and without the use of community blood, my son would have died. I am grateful to those blood donors who, probably without knowing it, are heroes in their own right.
I am a coward when it comes to needles. Because of this, I ask that someone hold my hand when I donate blood. I receive a few snickers from onlookers, but I couldn't allow another mommy who may be facing the same problem to experience the anguish of not having "nice, clean" blood for her child.
Please, Abby print my letter so "Little Abby's Mom" knows I said thank you for recognizing how important it is for even cowards like me to donate blood. It's easy and takes only a small amount of time to help save the lives of so many people. -- FAITHFUL BLOOD DONOR IN PHOENIX
P.S. My son is now 6 years old and brings joy to everyone with whom he comes in contact.
DEAR FAITHFUL: If your letter isn't a forceful reminder of how important our nation's blood supply is to all of us, perhaps the next letter will do the trick. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: The letter from the new mother whose life was saved by six units of blood from anonymous donors prompts this letter. Thank you very much for printing it.
I, too, have experienced the wonder and miracle of donated blood. Our son had leukemia. During the course of his disease, there were several instances when he became white as a sheet, droopy, listless and exhausted. He would have to go to the hospital emergency room, where he was put in a reclining chair with a bag of blood hanging on a "tree" beside him.
It was miraculous to see his transition to a pink-faced, bright-eyed, lively, energetic boy who talked enthusiastically about life, what he wanted to do, where he wanted to go and things he had seen.
Our son literally was given the gift of life. I am grateful to those anonymous blood donors who gave a few hours of their time and a few pints of blood so that our son could live a few more months. -- LOUISE IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR LOUISE: After reading your graphic letter, no one can doubt the importance of available blood as artillery in the battle for life. Now for some important information:
DEAR ABBY: There is a common misunderstanding that all blood comes from the Red Cross. In fact, while the Red Cross provides about 46 percent of the nation's blood, a network of independent, nonprofit, community-focused blood banks supply 47 percent of America's blood. Hospital-owned blood banks provide about 7 percent.
For the 72 community blood banks who work 24 hours a day to assure enough blood is available for the critically ill and injured in their respective communities, this is an important distinction. Thank you for helping to make this known. -- LISA MAYLES, DIRECTOR OF PUBLIC RELATIONS, LIFESHARE, NORTHEAST OHIO'S COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER
DEAR READERS: To find the nearest community-focused blood center, call 1-888-256-6388 for the independent blood centers' hotlines.
DEAR ABBY: Your response to the grandparent who was concerned because her 13-year-old granddaughter had a mustache was incomplete. You focused only on the cosmetic problem when she may have a true medical problem. She should be evaluated by her primary-care physician to rule out a medical basis for her excess body hair.
For example, she may have polycystic ovaries syndrome, which is associated with hirsutism (excess body hair), obesity, menstrual irregularities and enlarged ovaries. It may later reveal itself as a cause of infertility, adrenal or ovarian tumors. Also, certain medications could cause excess body hair.
Most cases of hirsutism are benign, and a complete history and physical by a physician can provide the much needed reassurance that a teen-ager is normal. The visit also gives pediatricians (or family practitioners) an opportunity to touch base with a population notorious for avoiding doctors -- adolescents. Not only are they underimmunized, they are also the group most in need of anticipatory guidance on issues such as abstinence, safe sex, birth control, STDs, drugs, alcohol, smoking, guns, nutrition, school performance, sports and safe driving.
Thank you, Abby, for championing these issues with such candor in your column. -- JENNIFER FORDAN-HERMAN, M.D., VIRGINIA BEACH, VA.
DEAR DR. FORDAN-HERMAN: Several doctors wrote to point out that the girl's problem could be medical in nature rather than cosmetic, and that she should be evaluated by a physician. Having once been a furry teen-ager myself, I assumed that she could deal with the problem cosmetically -- shaving, waxing, bleaching, etc.
I would like to address the other issue you mentioned. Adolescents may be notorious for neglecting their health, but they are still minors. It is their parents' job to make sure the health and well-being of their children are protected. This includes ensuring annual checkups with the eye doctor, dentist and primary-care physician. It also includes ensuring that teen-agers understand the importance of good nutrition and exercise. There is no excuse for young adults to be underimmunized and without the information they need in order to remain healthy.
DEAR ABBY: May I suggest that you follow your column promoting Pet Adoptathon 2000 with this brief postscript -- license your pet! Licensing your dog or cat is part of the proper care and attention that, as you explained, all pets deserve. Every year, thousands of lost pets are reunited with their loving families because they are wearing a current license or have other identification, such as a microchip. Tragically, many lost pets who are not licensed become statistics.
Here in King County, Washington, our Pet Partnership Program is successfully promoting pet licenses. We are working with suburban cities and pet owners throughout our region to spread this important message and to encourage residents to be responsible pet owners. This is a key element of saving and promoting the lives of our faithful animal companions. -- RON SIMS, KING COUNTY EXECUTIVE, SEATTLE
DEAR RON: I'm pleased to publicize this important reminder. Every pet deserves to have an identity. Should it get lost, a license could mean the difference between life and death. Readers wanting information about pet licenses should call their city or county animal regulation department and inquire.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: This letter is in response to your recently printed letter from "Concerned in Pennsylvania," who asked what advice could be given to children who suffer abuse in their homes and cannot leave. We receive calls of this type regularly at Childhelp USA.
While all forms of abuse or neglect are harmful physically, emotionally or psychologically to children, authorities may not think a situation is serious enough to permanently remove children from their homes. Moreover, the abuse may be unknown to all but the perpetrator and the victim. Often victims are scared silent because they are frequently threatened, told it's all their fault or that no one will believe them. Victims may have mixed feelings because the perpetrator is an important person in their lives.
Youngsters in these types of situations must be made aware of the following:
1. You are a victim, and the abuse you are suffering is not your fault.
2. You do not deserve to be treated this way.
3. If you are being burned, bitten, or hit hard enough to leave marks or bruises, you are being abused.
4. If you are not being fed well enough or taken to the doctor when you are sick, if you are locked in a room for hours, or left home alone at too young an age -- you are being neglected. Neglect is a form of abuse.
5. If you are made fun of, called names, told you are unwanted or that you are worthless or stupid, you are being emotionally abused.
6. If any of the above are being done to you, please find someone you trust and tell them. A family member, a teacher, the school nurse, the school counselor, someone at your church, a neighbor or anyone you can trust must be told. Ask them for help. Make them believe you. Show them the marks.
7. Try not to be alone with any person who hurts you.
8. Listen to your little voice inside when it says that what is being done to you is not right.
Childhelp USA serves the United States, its territories and Canada 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You don't have to give your name and address, and no fee will appear on your phone bill. Our counselors are professionals who understand your problems and are always ready to help. We can take calls in 140 languages. The Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline is 1-800-422-4453. The TDD line for hearing-impaired is 1-800-222-4453. The Web site is www.childhelpusa.org.
You never have to feel that no one cares or there is nowhere to turn. Call! -- CHRIS MONACO, PH.D., DIRECTOR
DEAR CHRIS: Yours is one of the most important letters I have ever received. People who suspect a child they know is being abused should call local child protection agencies, local law enforcement or the Childhelp USA Hotline. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: I have important advice for children who are being abused:
If you are being hurt by someone through sexual, physical or emotional abuse, or are thinking about hurting yourself, please call your local law enforcement officials or our Boys Town National Hotline, 1-800-448-3000. Help is available.
We also provide tips for children and parents on our Web site: www.boystown.org.
If you do not have a trusted adult or someone who will listen, our highly trained telephone counselors will listen and do something to help. -- FATHER VAL J. PETER, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, BOYS TOWN USA
DEAR FATHER PETER: I commend you and your staff for the wonderful work at Boys Town. Thank you for making this service available to boys AND girls.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)