DEAR ABBY: I am responding to Jim Isbell's letter about his experience with the Vietnamese man who was working in a restaurant on Mother's Day. Vietnam DOES have a Mother's Day. It takes place on the 15th day of July on the Vietnamese calendar, and is called Vu Lan.
On Vu Lan day we go to the temple and pray for our mothers to live long lives. If our mother is still alive, we wear a red rose. When people wear a white rose, it means their mother has died but they are at the temple to remember her.
Most Vietnamese Buddhist temples have a tradition of wearing roses on Vu Lan day. If you go to a temple on this day without wearing a rose, people in the temple will ask you about your mother and will pin a red or white rose on you. -- D.N.K., ROSEMEAD, CALIF.
DEAR D.N.K.: What a lovely tradition. I'm struck by the fact that we have a similar one in our culture. A red carnation is worn on Mother's Day to signify that one's mother is living; a white carnation signifies that one's mother is deceased.