Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Booklets, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)
DEAR ABBY: Now that summer is here, please remind your readers never to leave their dogs or other pets in their cars -- even for "just a minute." I understand that owners may think they will be gone only a brief period and the animal will be OK, but it takes only three minutes for the inside of a car to become much hotter than it is outside. In such heat, the pet's body can shut down, and it will die.
Animals do not have a voice to ask owners to take good care of them, so I'm asking. All animals should be loved and protected. I urge owners to have as much compassion for their family pets as they do for their own children. -- MRS. RANDI ARONSON, HOWELL, N.J.
DEAR RANDI: It's true that the temperature inside an automobile can build up quickly in these summer months -- and the "just a minute" can result in a tragedy.
While I'm on the subject of pets and climate, outdoor pet houses should be placed in the shade, and plenty of cool, fresh water should be provided in bowls that cannot tip over. Hint: Metal bowls cause the water to heat quite rapidly; conversely, in the winter, they chill the water to the point that it may freeze, making it inaccessible to the animal.
Thousands of readers responded to the letter in my column about pets being listed in obituaries, and volunteered that their pets are special friends or a part of the family.
Pet owners, please remember that your pets need proper care and love. Do not tie your pet in the yard and neglect it. Should you see that someone's pet is being subjected to this kind of neglect, notify the proper authorities.
A final thought: Please neuter or spay your cats and dogs. Neutered animals make better pets, and this act of love will alleviate the tragedy of thousands of unwanted animals being euthanized each year. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: In reference to the letter about making provisions for your pet's future in case of your illness or death, you should know that The Humane Society of the United States (HSUS) offers a free brochure, "Planning for Your Pet's Future Without You." It includes information on long-term and permanent care for your pet, selection of a permanent caregiver, sample language for pet care instructions in your will, and advice on seeking legal assistance.
More than 64 million cats and 62 million dogs live in our households. They are obviously important members of the American family. No one expects to fall ill or become disabled and unable to care for our beloved pets. I urge pet owners to take the time now to plan for their pet's future in case of emergency.
For a copy of our free brochure, write: The Humane Society of the United States, Code PF2000, 2100 L St. NW, Washington, DC 20037. Include a self-addressed, stamped envelope. You can also download the information from our Web site: www.hsus.org. -- NANCY PETERSON, HUMANE SOCIETY OF THE UNITED STATES
DEAR NANCY: If the number of letters I receive from readers who love their pets is any indication, get ready for a huge response to your generous offer. Thank you for this important information.
Parenting Is Difficult Challenge for Teen Age Moms and Dads
DEAR ABBY: My letter concerns the one from "Steve in Minnesota," who wrote about teen-age pregnancy. I understand why he says people don't realize how difficult parenthood is until they find out the hard way. Once it happens, their lives are changed forever. However, these points should be made to young people before they decide to have children. What does it say to those who are already parents?
I am a 17-year-old mother of a beautiful 8-month-old daughter. Teen-age mothers are often perceived as young girls who have ruined our lives. However, we haven't ruined our lives -- we have just made them a little more complicated.
I earned my high school diploma and work at a great job in an office where I make far more than minimum wage. I will soon start college to pursue my dream of becoming a registered nurse.
I played with fire and have to deal with the consequences. Having kids is a responsibility not to be taken lightly, but it's not the end of the world. There are plenty of places that help young mothers achieve their goals and open up windows of opportunity. -- OPTIMISTIC IN TEXAS
DEAR OPTIMISTIC: I commend you for your maturity. Children should be considered a blessing -- not a punishment for sexual irresponsibility.
Many counties in the United States have family social service agencies that offer classes in parenting skills to teen-age parents, maternal and child health-care clinics, job training, and individual and family counseling. However, not all very young parents are up to the task of meeting the challenges you have so responsibly assumed. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: After reading the letter from "Steve in Minnesota," may I share my experience? I am the result of a teen-age pregnancy. My parents dropped out of high school to marry six months before I was born. My sister was born three years later. Within a year of her birth, my parents divorced. I did not have a happy childhood.
My parents had little patience with children. Mother gave custody to my father because she wanted to return to school. She eventually earned an engineering degree and has a successful career, but I seldom saw her as I was growing up.
My father never completed high school and was frequently unemployed. Both my parents had many problems to deal with because they became parents at such a young age.
I am now a parent myself. I waited until I was mature enough to handle it. I can't imagine being a mother at 17, like my mother was -- but I know I wouldn't have been as good a parent as I am now. My husband is a terrific father and our daughter is a happy, well-adjusted child. -- GROWN-UP MOM IN ONTARIO, CANADA
DEAR MOM: I hope that teens who read your letter will heed its cautionary message. Although the United States has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the Western world, contrary to popular belief, American teens did NOT invent sex. I have read that teens in Europe are more sexually active. However, because Europeans are far more open about discussing sex within families, their teen-agers behave more like adults than those in the United States. When European teens reach 16 or 17, they are expected to behave responsibly about sexual matters and visit family planning clinics to obtain information and contraceptives as needed. Perhaps we should take a page out of their book.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Funeral Mourning Isn't Excuse for Stealing Public Property
DEAR ABBY: I was bicycling through the park when I noticed a young woman dressed in black picking lilies along the side of the path.
I stopped and asked her why she was picking flowers. "I am going to a funeral today," she replied. I told her that while I understood why she was picking the flowers, she was still wrong to do so, because no one else going through the park would be able to enjoy them.
Abby, now I feel guilty that I confronted her. Didn't she have enough to worry about? After all, she was going to a funeral! Although I still feel that I did the right thing, was there another way of handling this? -- CIVIC-MINDED BUT CONFUSED
DEAR CIVIC-MINDED: Your direct approach was appropriate at the time you first noticed her picking the flowers. Black is a popular fashion choice, and you couldn't have known she was on her way to a funeral.
You were right. She should not have been picking the flowers, and your comment should give her food for thought. However, I suspect you'd be feeling less guilty right now if -- once she told you about the funeral -- you had expressed your condolences for her loss and then quietly gone on your way.
DEAR ABBY: My sister and I are married to brothers whose wealthy aunt invites the family for Easter dinner every year. This is a potluck meal, and she requests that we each bring double recipes. This year, my sister was asked to bring two cakes and another guest to bring pies. After our main course was served, the table was cleared and out came thin slices of pie. There was no sign of my sister's cakes!
After the meal, this aunt was busy in the kitchen putting away all of the leftover food. No one was offered anything to take home. Do you think my sister should have asked for her two cakes that were not served? She has a large family, and those cakes would have been enjoyed by them.
This is not the first time this has happened. By the way, there are only 12 adults at this gathering. What do you think of this? -- DISGUSTED IN DETROIT
DEAR DISGUSTED: I think your hostess takes the cake! For a hostess to solicit double portions for a potluck dinner, and then to hoard the goodies for another occasion, shows poor manners, worse judgment, and creates abysmal family relations. It would have been entirely appropriate for your sister to ask for at least one of the cakes to take home to her family. Next year, suggest to this aunt that any food not served be split among the guests.
DEAR ABBY: Please help me. My roommates are ruining my life. I'm a female freshman in college and live in South Carolina. I am living with three guys. Most of the time they're great -- until I bring home my dates.
They all have great social lives, so I see no reason why they feel the need to take apart my car, hide my clothes and scare my dates. They say it's for my own protection, but at this rate, I'll be an old maid forever.
What can I do to stop their foolishness before they scare away Mr. Right? -- DATELESS AND HOPELESS
DEAR DATELESS: Your roommates may regard their behavior as funny, or brotherly and protective. However, their methods are heavy-handed, intimidating, and an indication of their immaturity.
Make other living arrangements and get out of there as quickly as possible. And next time, share accommodations with female roommates.
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)