DEAR ABBY: My husband and I brought his mom to live with us two years ago. She's almost 88 and could no longer take care of herself. This has totally changed our life. She had been living in another state where her other son is. He comes up to see her every month or so -- that's all he does for her.
She went to stay at his home last summer for one week so we could get away. We want to go away again this summer and would like for him to take her. He and his wife are giving us excuse after excuse why they can't. We are upset and feel this is unfair.
Abby, they should work it out. We do everything for Mom and brought her back to better health. What do you suggest we do? -- UPSET IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR UPSET: I agree that taking Mom for one week in the summer so that you and your husband can have a week of respite should not be too much to ask. However, since your brother-in-law and his wife have made it plain that they are not prepared to do so, your only other option is to find someone who's willing to come in and be a companion for Mom while you're away.
Consider contacting the National Federation of Interfaith Volunteer Caregivers. Founded in 1987, through a grant from the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, NFIVC helps organize human compassion into caring acts of service for anyone who is chronically ill, frail or alone.
The address is: 1 W. Armour Blvd., Suite 202, Kansas City, MO 64111. The phone number is: (816) 931-5442, and the Web site is: www.nfivc.org.