DEAR ABBY: This is for "Frustrated Nonsmoker in L.A." I, too, was an ex-smoker with a husband who smoked. The most important thing to remember is to encourage, not pressure him. His first goal should be to cut down, not quit. (That can come later.)
Your mother-in-law cannot be cured or controlled, but you can put another spin on it. Tell your husband that each unopened pack of cigarettes his mother gives him is a coupon, which can be redeemed for a nice long back rub, a breakfast in bed, a shampoo or back wash, or anything special that he enjoys having you do for him.
This won't cost you anything but some energy, and it will relieve some of the stress of his cutting back on his smoking. It will also turn the unwanted gifts to your advantage without putting your husband in the middle.
Even if he is never able to completely stop smoking, you will have enjoyed quality time together and your relationship will be stronger and happier. Good luck. -- TOTALLY SMOKE-FREE IN FLORIDA
DEAR TOTALLY SMOKE-FREE: What a clever woman you are to come up with such a thoughtful win-win solution to "Nonsmoker's" problem. Orchids to you!