DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Rob," was adopted at the age of 6 weeks. I have known about it since we first began dating.
We now have three school-age children, and we never thought it was necessary to tell them that their dad was adopted. We were wrong.
About a month ago, our 10-year-old daughter got into a quarrel with "Megan," the 13-year-old daughter of my husband's adoptive aunt. Megan was cruel to our daughter and told her that she is not really a "Smith" grandchild. This resulted in our daughter coming home in tears and totally confused.
At that point we did our best to explain to her that, while she has a different genetic makeup, she is certainly a Smith in every other way.
Abby, this painful incident could have been avoided had we been more open with our daughter from the beginning about her dad's adoption. Please tell your readers that honesty is always the best policy. Thanks for listening. -- LEARNED THE HARD WAY
DEAR LEARNED: I have done that in the past, and I will continue to do it. Your letter serves as a valuable warning to parents who may have withheld information that could provide a child with a better understanding of his or her family.
P.S. Your husband should consider confronting his aunt and asking her where she thinks her daughter "picked up" such a cruel idea.