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by Abigail Van Buren

Two Dates Are Too Many for Teen Attending Prom

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem. I am 18 years old, and somehow got myself into the awkward situation of having two dates to the prom!

A few weeks ago, I was asked by a sophomore boy whom I am sort of friends with. I waited awhile before accepting because I really wanted to go with this cute guy who's in college, but I was too afraid to ask him.

Well, last night I got up the courage to talk to my college friend, and he said he would really like to go to the prom with me!

Now I am in a predicament. I would much rather go to the prom with the college guy, but I don't want to hurt the sophomore boy's feelings. What should I do? -- SENIOR IN A PANIC

DEAR SENIOR: If you break the prom date after having accepted the invitation, you will cause hurt feelings -- and it's very late for him to ask someone else.

Act like the adult you are. Honor your commitment to the young man whose invitation you accepted. It's the proper and considerate thing to do.

DEAR ABBY: "Hurting Heart" said she was upset that her husband told her he would evaluate the situation before committing to jump into the ocean to save her from drowning. Well, I agree with her husband.

I was trained as a lifeguard, and the husband's response made a great deal of sense to me. One of the key points stressed in lifesaving is the importance of evaluating the situation carefully before attempting a rescue.

A drowning person becomes a very different and dangerous individual. While in a state of panic and confusion, people have been known to drown the lifesaver! It is dangerous for even a well-trained lifeguard to attempt a rescue, which is why the training course is so rigorous.

Should the wife drown her rescuing husband, their four children would be orphaned -- which would truly be a senseless tragedy. That wife should borrow a little of her husband's common sense, instead of thinking only of herself. -- S.J.B. IN TORONTO

DEAR S.J.B.: The wife should have exercised some common sense and not asked the "what if" question -- and the husband should have used common sense by softening his honest, but tactless, answer. In the interest of water safety, whenever families are playing near water, there should always be a life preserver to toss for just such emergencies.

DEAR ABBY: If you are entertaining guests and the telephone rings, should you answer it, politely tell the caller that you have guests, and ask if you can call back at a more convenient time? -- WANT TO DO THE RIGHT THING

DEAR WANT: Yes. It is impolite to carry on a telephone conversation while guests are waiting. Some people resolve this question by letting their answering machine take calls while they're entertaining.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

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