DEAR ABBY: "Joel," my husband of 40 years, and I sleep in different bedrooms because he snores. He has a job that requires him to get up at 4 a.m. After he showers and gets dressed, he comes into my room to say goodbye.
Abby, in the process of saying goodbye, Joel feels for my face to kiss me and ends up leaning on my throat, poking me in the eye or pulling my hair. I naturally become frightened and jump, which causes him to clunk me again!
I have asked him countless times to allow me to sleep, but he still comes in to adjust my covers or rub my feet, both of which WAKE ME UP! I have tried locking my door, but then he plays with the dog outside my door, causing her to bark, and that WAKES ME UP!
I have tried getting up early with him, but I just can't function the rest of the day. I told him that waking me up early is a form of abuse, but he refuses to listen.
Any ideas? -- SLEEPLESS IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR SLEEPLESS: Face it. Your husband is doing this deliberately. He resents your not getting up to be with him. Since he wakes you anyway, perhaps you should get up to see him off, and then take an afternoon siesta.