For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Pet Adoptathon Is Matchmaker for Orphaned Pets, New Owners
DEAR ABBY: Please tell your animal-loving readers everywhere to mark their calendars. Pet Adoptathon 2000 will take place on May 6 and 7. The first Pet Adoptathon of the new millennium promises to be the biggest, most exciting lifesaving weekend the world has ever experienced. Last year's event was unbelievable -- more than 37,000 animals' lives were saved through the hard work and dedication of more than 2,400 animal organizations around the globe.
What began as a local event at North Shore Animal League has flourished into a huge international celebration -- the foremost occasion in the 21st century for all animal groups to join forces and find loving homes for more orphaned pets. This year, the league and shelters across the country and around the world are working tirelessly toward one goal -- to increase the number of dogs, cats, puppies and kittens placed with loving, caring adopters during Pet Adoptathon 2000.
North Shore Animal League is calling on all animal lovers to start off the century on the right foot and paw. Open your hearts and homes to the innocent animal orphans available for adoption. Their lives depend on it. -- J. JOHN STEVENSON, PRESIDENT, NORTH SHORE ANIMAL LEAGUE
DEAR JOHN: I'm pleased to help spread the word. Readers, for the name of a participating shelter near you, call the North Shore Animal League's toll-free number: 1-877-236-9725. Many shelters will be open extended hours -- some through the night -- to help you find that special pet, that perfect furry friend who will give you a lifetime of love and devotion.
That said, I would like to add: Before you rush out to adopt one of these orphan pets, please take a moment to be sure you are ready to make a commitment that will last for many years. Pets are wonderful, but they require proper care and attention, and many require training to be the pleasurable companions you may be seeking.
If you are ready for this responsibility, get to the shelter early -- and select the pet who was born to be loved by you!
DEAR ABBY: Have you ever heard of a "weight-loss shower"? The premise of the shower is a celebration of weight loss. The individual hosting the shower has lost 30 pounds, and this definitely is cause for celebration.
The "catch" to this shower is that the guests are expected to bring monetary gifts so the hostess can buy a new wardrobe to fit her smaller figure.
I would love to hear what you and your readers think about such a shower. -- AMBIGUOUS IN CONNECTICUT
DEAR AMBIGUOUS: Weight loss certainly is a positive reason for supportive family and friends to get together and help the hostess celebrate. However, she has no business hosting her own "shower." Furthermore, I'm taken aback by the idea that guests will be expected to foot the bill for a new wardrobe. If such a shower is successful, what's to stop someone who has put on a few pounds from using a shower to raise money for a wardrobe for his or her fuller figure -- or a kitchen shower to replace broken dishes, or a bedding shower because the sheets are getting thin? Readers, care to comment?
Art of Parenthood Consists of Setting a Good Example
DEAR ABBY: My father, the late Wilferd A. Peterson, wrote an essay that I feel is needed by parents who are floundering in this day of terror in the schools. I have heard on the radio and seen on television the same idea expressed in various ways, but none expressed it as well as my father did in his essay.
The "Art of Parenthood" was published in "The Art of Living Treasure Chest" (Simon and Schuster), but I would be pleased if you would print it in your column. -- LILIAN PETERSON THORPE, PINEHURST, N.C.
DEAR LILIAN: Your talented father offers valuable advice in this essay. I am pleased to share it with my readers. Read on:
THE ART OF PARENTHOOD
by Wilferd A. Peterson
"Of all the commentaries on the Scriptures," wrote John Donne, "good examples are the best."
In practicing the art of parenthood, an ounce of example is worth a ton of preachment.
Our children are watching us live, and what we ARE shouts louder than anything we can SAY.
When we set an example of honesty, our children will be honest.
When we practice tolerance, they will be tolerant.
When we demonstrate good sportsmanship, they will be good sports.
When we meet life with laughter and a twinkle in our eye, they will develop a sense of humor.
When we are thankful for life's blessings, they will be thankful.
When we express friendliness, they will be friendly.
When we speak words of praise, they will praise others.
When we confront failure, defeat and misfortune with a gallant spirit, they will learn to live bravely.
When our lives affirm our faith in the enduring values of life, they will rise above doubt and skepticism.
When we surround them with the love and goodness of God, they will discover life's meaning.
When we set an example of heroic living, they will be heroes.
Don't just stand there pointing your finger to the heights you want your children to scale. Start climbing, and they will follow!
DEAR ABBY: April 30 is a "memorial day" for many Vietnamese people, because we lost our loving home country, Vietnam, due to the fall of Saigon on April 30, 1975.
I would like to express my appreciation to American individuals and the families of those who supported and sacrificed for my country during the Vietnam War, and to those who opened their hearts to welcome us, the refugees, to resettle in this country.
Your sacrifice and generosity deserve blessings. -– PETER TRAN, GARLAND, TEXAS
DEAR PETER: Thank you for a beautiful letter. It will be particularly meaningful to Vietnam veterans, as well as the families of soldiers who died in the conflict.
I have found Vietnamese people to be upstanding and hardworking, and we are enriched by their presence.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Generations of Rings Can't All Fit on Bride's Finger
DEAR ABBY: I am engaged to a wonderful man whom I adore, but I have a problem I haven't seen in your column. He gave me his grandmother's ring as an engagement ring. I didn't want to ruin the moment and tell him that I preferred to wear my deceased mother's rings that my father was keeping for my marriage. The sentiment and style make them precious to me.
Would it be wrong for me to ask my fiancee to allow me to wear my mother's rings rather than his grandmother's? I realize this is an unusual request, but I am the one who will be wearing the rings daily. Your advice would be appreciated. -- TOO MANY RINGS IN ARIZONA
DEAR TOO MANY RINGS: No, it is not wrong to ask your fiancee how he would feel about your wearing your mother's rings -- if you ask tactfully. Tell him how honored you are that he wants you to have his grandmother's ring, and offer to wear it on your right hand. If the idea seems to bother him, perhaps you could have your mother's rings sized and wear them as a pinky ring, have the diamonds placed in a pendant to wear on a chain around your neck, or have the rings made into a pin.
Chances are that as long as you plan to wear his grandmother's ring, he'll agree to your wearing your mother's rings on your left hand since they mean so much to you.
DEAR ABBY: Please print this so my daughter-in-law will read it.
As the mother of the man you married, I grieve over what may happen in the future.
When my son married you, he took you and your child into his heart. He has a big heart. He expressed to me how happy he was with his family and how he hoped that someday he would also be a father to his own child.
You have been married three years, and because of your age, your biological clock is running out. There appears to be no sign of another child in the picture.
I grieve that he will never know the joy of having a child call him Daddy. Your child calls him by his first name.
I grieve that he will never know the joy of walking his daughter down the aisle or seeing his son marry.
I grieve that he will never know the greatest joy of having his own grandchildren.
Most of all, I grieve that you do not really love my son enough to make the ultimate sacrifice of bearing a child for him. -- GRIEVING IN THE SOUTHWEST
DEAR GRIEVING: Your desire for a child for your son is understandable, but I hope that in the future you don't grieve that, because of your intrusiveness, you no longer have a close relationship with your son, daughter-in-law and step-grandchild.
The reason your daughter-in-law is not pregnant is none of your business. There may be medical reasons that you are unaware of, including the possibility that your son's sperm count is too low and he cannot father a child.
Please make your heart as big as your son's, and remember that children are a gift, not a sacrifice!
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)