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by Abigail Van Buren

Mom Thankful That Son Views Marriage as Equal Partnership

DEAR ABBY: I feel the need to respond to "Curious," regarding who should write thank-you notes. When my son and his wife were married, they decided that it would be a joint effort, with each responding to the gifts from their own family and friends, and working together on those for mutual friends. I had several of my friends and family members compliment me on what wonderful thank-you notes they received -- and they were very impressed that he had written them.

When he was young, I impressed upon him the fact that household responsibilities are for all who live in the home, not designated to certain genders. I came from a home with all sisters, and we helped with all duties. His father came from a home with all brothers, and I know he would never write a thank-you note because this would have never been expected in his family. I am proud and pleased that my son assumes and shares all responsibilities with his spouse. The husband of "Curious" needs to get a clue! -- PROUD MOTHER IN OGDEN, UTAH

DEAR PROUD MOTHER: Orchids to you. You have done your job well, and you deserve to be proud. Whether it's conscious or unconscious, mothers have tremendous influence on the attitudes they impart to their sons -- and you seem to have imparted a sense of gender neutrality to yours.