Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Booklets, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)
DEAR ABBY: Last month I gave birth to a healthy baby girl. Unfortunately, after the delivery, I hemorrhaged so severely I needed an emergency hysterectomy.
I am alive today thanks to the quick action and skill of my physicians and nurses, and to the selfless gift of six units of blood from anonymous donors. My ability to hold and care for my beautiful daughter hinges on the fact that I received blood transfusions, a fact that makes me realize what a precious gift blood is.
When I finally regain my strength, I pledge to donate blood, and hope this letter will prompt others to follow my example.
Thank you, blood donors one and all, for a priceless gift. (By the way, my baby's name is Abby, and she is also a dear!) -- LITTLE ABBY'S MOM
DEAR MOM: I am pleased that you and your dear "little Abby" are doing well. Thank you for the reminder that lifesaving blood is in short supply and donations are needed across the country. Potential blood donors should contact their nearest Red Cross Center or hospital with a blood bank.
P.S. If you've never thought of being a blood donor, please consider this:
WHAT GOOD IS A BLOOD DONOR?
A blood donor is good for people who go through windshields and red lights. For somebody with leukemia. For people being operated on. For barefoot kids who aren't careful. For people who are into feudin' and fightin'. For hemophiliacs and daredevils. For people undergoing dialysis while waiting for a kidney transplant. For people who fool around with guns. For little kids who manage to uncap a bottle of something poisonous.
A blood donor is good for people who have been badly burned. For new mothers who need transfusions. For new babies who need a complete change of blood supply. For people having open-heart surgery. For cancer patients. For people with severe hepatitis and anemia. For kids who fall out of trees or whatever. For anybody at any age with bleeding ulcers. For people who were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
A blood donor is good for people who are in a lot worse shape than most people you know.
A blood donor is good for life!
DEAR ABBY: I have a pet peeve I have been intending to write you about for a long time. It's clothing manufacturers who put labels in clothing that are irritating to people with sensitive skin. Not only are they placed in the necklines of garments, but also in the waistband of panties and slacks. It wouldn't be so bad, but they sew them into the seam of the garment so if you want to rip them out you also rip the seam.
Henceforth, I'll check the label of every garment before I buy it to make sure the label can be easily removed. -- JEWELL IN FRESNO, CALIF.
DEAR JEWELL: Your pet peeve happens to be one of mine as well, and I've been "itching" to say something about it for a long time.
If manufacturers want their brand names remembered, it should be for positive reasons, not for constant irritation.
Prevalence of Date Rape Drugs Makes Every Drink a Gamble
DEAR ABBY: This afternoon I read your column in which "Christine in Midlothian, Va." described an incident involving her drink being spiked with GHB at a neighborhood bar. She acknowledged her gratitude to Andrew and Chris for rescuing her from what could have been a possible date-rape situation.
In a different section of the same newspaper, I read a frightening article. Beside it was a photograph of a beautiful woman with a grief-stricken expression. She was the mother of a 15-year-old girl who died after her soft drink was spiked with GHB at a party. A soft drink, Abby!
The article stated that there have been at least 58 GHB-related deaths and 5,700 overdoses nationwide. While your answer seemed to focus more on not leaving a drink unattended at a bar, we also have to worry about soft drinks at private parties -- parties our teen-agers attend almost every weekend.
Please warn parents to talk to their daughters about this terrible act that could be perpetrated on them -- and how common it has become. It is also imperative for parents to talk to their SONS and let them know this kind of thing is serious and much more harmful than they realize. This is not a "boys will be boys" thing. This is rape; this is murder!
Andrew and Chris, the young men who saved Christine from possible rape, also saved her from possible death. Their parents obviously raised them to be men of character and taught them respect for others.
Thank you, Abby, for bringing this horrific matter to the attention of your readers. Too bad someone can't take these little ticks and throw them back on the mangy mutts they jumped off of. -- DISGUSTED IN LAS VEGAS
DEAR DISGUSTED: You have written an excellent letter. Parents should, indeed, warn their children of both sexes about the danger of GHB and the other date-rape drug, Rohypnol. It is tragic that someone cannot attend a party without concern about the safety of a soft drink or the punchbowl. It's sad to say, but unless a drink is offered in a sealed container and opened personally, it should not be consumed. And it should be kept with the person at all times.
A final thought: Anyone who sees someone attempting to doctor another person's drink should warn the potential victim immediately -- and should warn the perpetrator that it's against the law. Do not remain silent; silence indicates approval, and could make the witness an accessory to the crime.
DEAR ABBY: I've been a loyal reader for years, but I have never written to you before. Your response to the high school student who signed himself "Crazy for a Freshman" infuriated me. You said that the girl's father, who was the young man's chemistry teacher, might not be so "friendly" when it came to giving him a passing grade. Abby, as a teacher, I found that statement offensive.
We don't "give" grades -- our students earn them. To suggest that this father might alter a student's grade because of a romance with his daughter is insulting to teachers. Abby, you owe teachers everywhere an apology. -- TEACHER IN DUNKIRK, MD.
DEAR TEACHER: No offense was intended. Human nature being what it is, I wanted to warn the student not to sneak around with the girl because her father, his teacher, might not be able to separate his anger from grading for achievement. I know teachers are expected to be above that, but they are as susceptible to human frailties as everyone else.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Story Behind Burial Plot May Be Gravely Incomplete
DEAR ABBY: In a recent column you printed a letter from "Outraged in the South," whose stepmother, upon her death, will have herself buried between "Outraged's" father and his first wife in the family burial plot.
You advised her that it would most likely be useless to try to talk this incredibly insensitive stepmother out of it. However, there is something that "Outraged" and her siblings can do. After the stepmother dies -- or, perhaps even better, before she dies -- the "children" can go together and have another inscription engraved on the stone underneath the first wife's name.
It could read: "She did it over our dead bodies -- Signed, The Children." -- DEE IN WASHINGTON
DEAR DEE: Your suggestion is a hoot. Not everyone viewed the second wife's intentions as we did. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: When I read the letter from "Outraged in the South," my stomach turned. Perhaps the stepmother should not have moved Dad over -- it is pretty gross. However, maybe the dad and stepmother discussed where they would like to be buried, and he chose to be next to her instead of in the middle because he had been married to her for at least 27 years. Over the course of those 27 years, I assume she loved him, cared for him and, most likely, nursed him through his last illness.
The youngest daughter was approximately 17 years old when her father married a much younger woman. He lived to be at least 90 years old. She should be grateful that they had such a long life together and were there for each other.
Give this woman a break. Unless she was a selfish witch, those adult children could use their time more productively. They should console their stepmother, as I am sure she is mourning. She is now approximately 65 years old, and I would expect she could use some "family" around her.
If you print this, please don't use my name. All the relatives live here. -- A CALIFORNIAN
DEAR CALIFORNIAN: You're right; there are usually two sides to every story. However, if the matter had been discussed between the father and his second wife, it would have been wise to have shared the burial plans with the adult children well in advance.
DEAR ABBY: My daughter is planning a wedding in July. She would like to use silver and burgundy as her colors. Her soon-to-be mother-in-law said silver is used for second marriages. Is this true? -- NEEDS YOUR HELP IN UTAH
DEAR NEEDS: If that's true, it's the first time I've heard of it. Second-time brides often wear pastel colors -- or white with color in the trim of the garment or their accessories. If your daughter wants to use silver and burgundy for her wedding, the combination sounds fine to me.
CONFIDENTIAL TO "SEARCHING FOR HAPPINESS IN SAN FRANCISCO": Armchair philosopher Robert Cory said it best in his book, "Bottom Lines to Life": "Don't look for what makes you happy in life -- deal with what prevents you from it."
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)