DEAR ABBY: Please reprint the forms of government you had in your column a few years ago. I believe there was something about a cow in the explanation. -- A.P. IN SPARTANBURG, S.C.
DEAR A.P.: I'm happy to grant your request. My readers got a "kick" out of it then, and I have since had several requests for it. Read on:
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you part of the milk.
SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both cows and sells you the milk.
NAZISM: You have two cows. The government takes both your cows, then shoots you.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The government takes both of them, shoots one, milks the other, then pours the milk down the drain.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one of them and buy a bull.
Abby, what happens in a democracy? -- MRS. J. MC C.
DEAR MRS. MC C.: In a democracy, everyone has two cows, then a vote is taken, and whatever the majority decides to do, you do, and that's no bull!