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DEAR ABBY: Please reprint the forms of government you had in your column a few years ago. I believe there was something about a cow in the explanation. -- A.P. IN SPARTANBURG, S.C.

DEAR A.P.: I'm happy to grant your request. My readers got a "kick" out of it then, and I have since had several requests for it. Read on:

COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you part of the milk.

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both cows and sells you the milk.

NAZISM: You have two cows. The government takes both your cows, then shoots you.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The government takes both of them, shoots one, milks the other, then pours the milk down the drain.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one of them and buy a bull.

Abby, what happens in a democracy? -- MRS. J. MC C.

DEAR MRS. MC C.: In a democracy, everyone has two cows, then a vote is taken, and whatever the majority decides to do, you do, and that's no bull!

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