To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Where There's a Will, There's a Way to Secure Pets' Future
DEAR ABBY: Please remind your readers, young or old, to make provisions for their beloved pets in the event of major illness or death. I have rescued more than 10 cats from the local shelters this week alone.
These were all brought in individually by families of people who have passed away and made no specific provisions for their pets. The families are always happy to take the personal property, house, furniture, cars, etc., but the pets are up for grabs and end up in a cold, sterile animal shelter, not knowing what happened to them and why their home and their human companions are gone.
This is a real tragedy, and in most cases these animals are euthanized. The lucky ones are adopted by people like me who hear about their plight. Even if people cannot afford to have an attorney draw up a will, they should have handwritten instructions (holographic will) and leave it with a responsible person. There is no one to speak for these animals when their owners are gone. Please, Abby, get the word out to the public. -- CAROLE ELLIS, LOS ANGELES
DEAR CAROLE: I'm pleased to help. As important as putting the instructions in writing is to make sure in advance that the animal would be a welcome member of the family in the event of the owner's death or disability. Some pets, specifically some species of birds, can live to 75 years or so. And they deserve to live to a ripe old age if they are able to.
DEAR ABBY: After reading about Oscar Ortiz, the veteran who was appreciated after 55 years, I'm moved to write about the few seconds of appreciation I, a retired teacher, received while stopped at a busy intersection waiting for the traffic light to turn green.
A car filled with large, handsome, very noisy males drove alongside me and stopped. I glanced over at them and smiled. One of the young men said, "Don't worry -- we're listening to Michael Jackson's 'Scream.'" I replied, "Sounds normal to me after teaching high school for 30 years."
The driver did a double take and said, "Where did you teach?" "Westminster High School," I answered. He then said, "Mrs. P. -- is that you?" When I nodded affirmatively, he said: "I never told you before, but I loved you. You were the best teacher I ever had in all my years in school."
Then I recognized him. I said, "Sean, I remember when you brought your 18-month-old son to my class, and I gave him toys to play with while you studied." Sean said, "Look in the back seat, because there he is. He's almost 16 now."
The traffic light changed and our cars started moving into the intersection. The last I saw of my former student, he was waving at me and shouting, "Always remember, Mrs. P., I love you!"
I've been on cloud nine since those few seconds at the intersection. I hope this story might prompt students everywhere to communicate with those teachers who somehow influenced their lives. Dedicated teachers need appreciation. A few seconds will do -- but more is always appreciated. -- ULA PENDLETON, LOS ANGELES
DEAR ULA: I, too, hope your letter generates some response. I'm willing to bet that almost everyone can remember a special teacher who made a difference because of his or her caring heart.
Readers, if you do, sit down and write that teacher -- or former teacher -- a letter of acknowledgment and thanks. It won't take long, and the result will last longer than a few seconds at a stoplight. Your letter can be enjoyed repeatedly.
Kids' Potential Multiplies With Undivided Attention
DEAR ABBY: This letter is intended for mothers and fathers who make beautiful children but don't spend quality time with them. You will never know what your child could become if you don't play an active role in his or her life.
When my wife and I married eight years ago, I said that when we had children, I would spend more time with them than my father spent with me. Judging from the events over the last seven years, I know I could have achieved much more had my father spent a little more time with me.
My son, who is now 7 years old, is academically excellent in school, talented in karate and basketball, gifted in art and has a CD on the market. At 7, he's already building for his future. All of this, and he still has time to play Pokemon and Digimon with his brother and sister, both of whom have received similar accolades.
Kids have so much potential. Parents, please spend time with you children. -- SOMEWHERE IN VIRGINIA
DEAR SOMEWHERE: Your plea touched my heart, and I'm printing it for parents who may need such a wake-up call. One of the unexpected benefits of women's liberation has been that recent generations of fathers have taken a greater role in child rearing. I, for one, think that's terrific.
DEAR ABBY: I have enjoyed reading about the random acts of kindness you have printed. I have a tremendous one to share with you that meant the world to me.
Four years ago, my husband, Roy, had a massive stroke. We had been married only 12 years when this happened. He is right-side paralyzed, has some speech impairment and is in a wheelchair. He does not like going out in public and usually refuses to do so. We were always "card givers," and I missed his cards so much after he got sick.
Our wedding anniversary is Valentine's Day. As Valentine's Day approached, I was quite depressed because I knew I would not receive my usual cards from my precious husband. One of our neighbors, Susan, knew how I felt. She went to a card shop and spent hours selecting Valentine and anniversary cards. She found the perfect cards and brought them to our house. Then she asked me to go out for a little while, saying she needed to talk to Roy. After I left, she read the cards to him, helped him sign them, and told him to wait until the next morning to give them to me.
The next morning when I got Roy up and fixed our breakfast, I gave him the cards I had for him. You cannot imagine the smile on his face when he presented me with the cards that Susan had brought for him to give to me. They were absolutely beautiful, exactly the kind of cards Roy had given me over the years. It was as if he had gone and picked them out himself.
Susan has done this every year since Roy had his stroke. I always express my gratitude to her, but there are no words to tell her exactly how much this means to me. Thank you, Susan, and God bless you. -- BRENDA GAY, EASLEY, S.C.
DEAR BRENDA: Everyone should be so fortunate as to have a neighbor as caring and sensitive as Susan. I'm sure your letter will be a day-brightener for everyone who reads it, and plant the seed of an idea for readers who may know someone in a similar situation. Thank you for writing.
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Safety Is Left in the Dust by Ads Celebrating Speed
DEAR ABBY: I have noticed that the majority of automobile commercials on TV today show speeding cars. One in particular shows two ladies in sport utility vehicles racing over curbs and bumps to win a race to a parking place. This is portrayed as something good and fun you can do when you drive a brand-new SUV. Another commercial portrays someone leaving his workplace and racing down a twisting road to unwind. On and on it goes with advertised cars speeding across the screen.
These commercials, and many others like them, imply that the better car is the "faster" car, and that it's cool and enjoyable to drive in this manner.
Abby, what is this teaching new drivers? Don't these commercials promote reckless driving? -- VALERIE S. RIVARD, MANCELONA, MICH.
DEAR VALERIE: Mature drivers (of any age) realize that obeying the speed limit is the best way to promote wreck-less driving. While it's obvious the advertisers are implying that speed is desirable and thrilling, I agree that an unintended subliminal message is that reckless driving is acceptable. That's dangerous and irresponsible.
DEAR ABBY: On June 1, 1999, my son died of an overdose. We went to visit relatives over Memorial Day weekend. He found a box of outdated prescription drugs while we were there.
Abby, he was only 18 years old. I hope you will share my letter with the public. He had made three suicide attempts prior. People told me it was all for attention.
Parents, take your sad teen-ager seriously or you'll end up like me ... A BROKENHEARTED MOTHER IN S.F.
DEAR BROKENHEARTED MOTHER: Please accept my condolences for the loss of your son. If there is one lesson to be learned from your letter, it's that a suicide attempt is NOT a bid for attention -- it's a cry for help. And that means professional help. In most communities it's as near as the telephone, in the form of a suicide or crisis hotline.
DEAR ABBY: Thank you for printing the letter from "Happy Again in San Diego," the woman who told you about writing a list of qualities she loved about her husband and how it helped her marriage.
My husband and I rarely celebrate anything but Christmas, but this year I decided to follow "Happy's" example and write a list of my own for Valentine's Day. In addition to the characteristics I find appealing about him, I included things that I appreciated -- for example, the fact that he has stopped smoking inside the house (I am a nonsmoker), and that he always remembers to pick up certain items that I like when he goes to the grocery store.
He was obviously touched by my efforts -- I thought he was going to burst into tears! We have been together for 26 years, and you know the old story -- "The spark had gone out of our marriage." Well, thanks to "Happy's" suggestion and a little time on my part, things have never been better.
So, Abby, a thousand thanks. You've really put a lift in my love life! -- DAWN IN PHOENIX
DEAR DAWN: And you put a lift in my spirits. Thanks for an upper of a letter. Others can learn from it. It takes only a second to jot down a kind word, and the result can be enjoyed for many years.
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)