DEAR ABBY: We buried my uncle yesterday, and several people said to my aunt, "I'll stop by and see you soon." I know how easy it is to make such promises when caught up in the moment, and I hope at least a couple of those people follow through.
I live 75 miles away and can't spend as much time with my aunt as I'd like. They used to have a very active social life, but as dementia took the sparkle from their conversations, my aunt and uncle were relegated more and more to the company of the health aides who have cared for them around the clock. Few of their old friends drop in.
I know it is difficult for people to make time, especially for less pleasant things like a conversation with someone who isn't the same scintillating person they used to know. But it is so good for the person to continue to have interaction with others, and it's just plain cheering to see a different face for a few minutes.
I don't want to preach, but I hope my letter will inspire a few people to spend half an hour with friends or relatives who could use a bright spot in their day. Even if their minds don't remember it, their hearts will. -- NIECE IN TROY, N.Y.
DEAR NIECE: You have written an eloquent letter. When people age, their friends begin to die and their list of social contacts grows shorter. It then becomes the responsibility of nuclear and extended family to make sure older people don't become completely isolated.
There are many ways to entertain older people who suffer from age-related memory loss: preparing and bringing over a favorite meal or dish, a cassette of music from their generation that might lift the spirits and stimulate the memory, a short drive in a familiar neighborhood.
A companion pet can provide a special kind of love, not to mention entertainment. However, one should not be given unless the giver is absolutely sure it can be properly cared for and looked after.