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by Abigail Van Buren

Warning Opens Woman's Eyes to Her Own Abusive Behavior

DEAR ABBY: I have a sensitive problem I don't know how to handle. I have a sister-in-law I would do anything for. I love her as I would a sister. She is my best friend, but her husband is a total jerk. He has been making advances toward me and saying things like, "I wish you were mine," and, "A lot of women think I'm great and would be happy to have me."

My sister-in-law invites me to their house frequently, and I am constantly turning her down because of the jerk she's married to. Instead, I suggest that we meet somewhere and have dinner or coffee because I don't want to hurt her in any way.

I want to tell her what a cheat her husband is, but I'm afraid of hurting her and our relationship. There's no telling how many women he has made advances to, or how many may have taken him up on it.

What can I do? I love her and don't want to cause her pain, but she needs to know what her husband is up to. -- FRUSTRATED IN TEXAS

DEAR FRUSTRATED: The next time your sister-in-law's husband makes advances, tell him in no uncertain terms that you are not interested in anything he has to offer, and if it happens again you will tell his wife. If that doesn't stop him, tell her everything and don't mince words.