DEAR ABBY: I can't top the letter from the lady in the body cast who was receiving obscene telephone calls, but I do have a tale about weird phone calls.
In 1967, I was hired as a claims examiner at the unemployment insurance office in my hometown. Since ours was the only listing in the phone directory under our unusual last name, I was advised to have our home number changed and unlisted. Unfortunately, I procrastinated. Then I began getting evening calls from men asking for a half-dozen or so girls by name. ("Candy" was the most popular.) They usually hung up if my husband answered -- and he finally began to look askance at me!
One morning before I left for work, I received a call from a collection agent demanding payment on a long overdue bill. Armed with a first and last name, I grabbed the phone book and found our number listed to that woman's name. Her address? Smack dab in the middle of our city's red light district! Quick action by the telephone company saved our marriage; we're still together after 41 years.
Please don't reveal my location or name. Just ... CALL ME 'MADAM'
DEAR 'MADAM': Bravo! And "Candy is dandy" -- and probably long "retired." Your letter is a compelling lesson to those who procrastinate.