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by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: I am an inexperienced college student in need of relationship advice. I am involved with a wonderful man who attends the same college. We are deeply in love; however, our hometowns are on opposite sides of the country.

This summer, I may have the opportunity to work in his area. His family has graciously invited me to live at their home, which would lower my living expenses considerably. It would also be a wonderful chance to spend time with him and his family. As this relationship is nearly my first, I realize my naivete could get me into trouble.

I feel miserable at the idea of being away from him all summer, so I don't want to turn down the offer. Are there any reasons why living with his family for 10 weeks could threaten or damage our relationship? Let me know if you think I may be getting in over my head. -- OPTIMISTIC IN OLYMPIA, WASH.

DEAR OPTIMISTIC: If you and this young man are serious about each other, spending the summer with his family will give them a terrific opportunity to get to know you -- and you to see the environment in which he was raised. Since you have mentioned no objection from your parents, and it's always wise to "look before you leap," go for it. At the very least, it will be a valuable learning experience.

DEAR ABBY: My wife works for a small company with fewer than 12 people. We want to have a party, but there is one employee I don't want to invite because she never stops talking, is loud and opinionated on every subject, and says vulgar things in mixed company. We don't consider her a friend.

My wife is afraid it would be wrong not to invite everyone. What do you think? -- PARTY PLANNER IN L.A.

DEAR PARTY PLANNER: If you were planning a party and inviting social friends, then it would be appropriate to invite only those you wish to attend. However, since you and your wife plan to have an "office party," every employee should be included.

If this opinionated co-worker got wind of the fact that she'd been excluded, your wife would hear about it -- loud and clear -- for months to come.

DEAR ABBY: My just-turned-18-year-old daughter wants to go away for a weekend with her 19-year-old boyfriend of six months. His 22-year-old brother and girlfriend are going to a family-owned ski cabin for a weekend and want his brother and my daughter to go along.

We said no; my daughter thinks we're ancient and sees nothing wrong with it. They are not sexually active. What do you say, Abby? Are we ancient? -- DAD

DEAR DAD: You're not ancient; you're prudent. Your daughter is an adult, but if she is living in your home, you have the right to set the rules. She may not be sexually active, but the most effective way to avoid temptation is to avoid situations that may be tempting.

Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Booklets, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

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