Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Troubled Teens in Jail Take Shared Compliments to Heart

DEAR ABBY: I have been going out with my brother's wife, "Angie." They are separated and she has filed for divorce. For the past five years, my brother has alternated living with his wife in one house and with another "lady" in a different house.

I have always liked Angie, and have seen her go through much unhappiness with him. I have always wished to be with her and to treat her with the respect she deserves, but she has always tolerated my brother's double life.

Last month she left him. That's when I decided to express my feelings to her. I was surprised to learn that she has always had the same feelings for me. We started talking on the phone, and now have gone out a couple of times. There has been no "fooling around," and there won't be before her divorce is final.

My brother and I are not close. We have had our share of disagreements, and I know he will feel that I am doing this to get back at him. I really care for Angie, and I don't know what to do. Any advice for me? -- CONFUSED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CONFUSED: Yes, if you and Angie are meant for each other, waiting a few months should not make a difference to any future you have together. Put the romance "on hold" until her divorce is final. To have an open romance now will only complicate her divorce. There is already enough tension between you and your brother, so don't add to it.