DEAR ABBY: Several years ago you printed a letter to grandmothers from "Your Son's Wife." I saved that letter. It is as appropriate today as it was then. Please print it again. My in-laws need to see it. Thank you. -- ANOTHER SON'S WIFE IN IOWA
DEAR WIFE: You're welcome. Read on:
DEAR GRANDMOTHERS: Please don't play favorites. If you buy a gift for your daughter's children, please buy something of equal value for your son's children. These children are cousins, and cousins play together. When they see the expensive toys, books and clothing that Grandma has given their cousins, they become jealous because Grandma has never given them such grand gifts. She gives them cheap little trinkets -- or nothing at all.
I am the mother of the children who receive very little from Grandma. I have looked into the sad eyes of my children when we visit their cousins who have been showered with expensive gifts from Grandma. It is always the daughter's children who are favored. I have friends who are in exactly the same situation, so I know I'm not imagining this.
I realize some grandmothers are fair to all their grandchildren, but I am sorry to say that they are the exception.
I hope this letter will cause the grandmothers who are guilty of this kind of favoritism to change their ways. Most children don't "need" anything -- but they are hurt when their cousins always get the peaches and they get the pits.
Thanks for listening. -- YOUR SON'S WIFE