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Thieves Find Lots of Merriment During Bustling Holiday Season
DEAR ABBY: May I offer some words of advice for those who make it easy pickings for burglars? Stealing during the holidays is like taking candy from a baby. Most homes display lovely gift packages under Christmas trees. If no precautions are taken, homes become a "marketplace" from which thieves can "shop" with impunity. It is also a time when stores are teeming with careless, unsuspecting shoppers who are stressed out looking for last-minute gifts, and rushing around trying to get everything done. Pickpockets and muggers delight in how easy it is to rob shoppers during the holiday season.
Abby, I would like to provide your readers with some tips to help them avoid becoming victims this holiday season:
-- Thieves hate bright lights, so install outside lights and keep them on at night. If you plan to be away, purchase timers for your indoor lights and set them to make it appear that someone is at home. (Lights left on 24 hours a day are a dead giveaway that the house is empty.)
-- Be sure to have your mail and newspaper delivery halted until you return. If it piles up, it's a sure sign that you're not there.
-- Leave curtains, shades and blinds in the normal position.
-- Be certain door and window locks are in working order -- AND USE THEM.
-- Do not leave blinds or curtains open so that one peek in the window reveals piles of gifts under the tree -- or elsewhere. Allowing thieves to see the gifts is like extending an invitation.
-- Going out for the evening? Turn on some lights, as well as your radio or television. It will make your dwelling appear to be occupied.
-- Beware of couriers delivering packages. Criminals sometimes use that ruse to get a look inside, or if you appear to be alone, to force their way in. Thieves also pose as agents seeking charitable donations. Always ask for identification, ask to see permits, and also ask how the funds will be used.
-- When shopping, be alert and aware of what's going on around you.
-- Park in a lighted garage or lot, and be sure your path to the store is well-lighted. Familiarize yourself with your parking location so you needn't wander around looking for your car when you return. Be sure to place all packages in the trunk of your car and lock your car.
-- Avoid carrying large amounts of cash. Pay by credit card or check. To deter pickpockets and purse snatchers, don't overburden yourself with packages. Carry your purse close to your body, securely closed and not dangling by the straps. Men, carry your wallet in an inside pocket or in your front pants pocket.
-- Teach your children to go to a store clerk or security guard if they become separated from you. And if you feel unsafe, do not hesitate to ask a security guard to escort you to your car.
-- A final warning: Be sure your valuables are inventoried and marked. That way, if thieves succeed in robbing you, you have proof of loss and will be able to identify and claim your stolen items should they be recovered.
Happy, safe holidays to you and your readers, Abby. -- "OFFICER KRUPKE," NEW YORK CITY
DEAR "OFFICER KRUPKE":
I think you are great.
Although your letter left me
in a much-saddened state.
I pray that your warnings
aren't taken as quips.
Thank you for your important tips.
Life With Disabled Daughters Was Filled With Sweet Sorrow
DEAR ABBY: We have read the poignant essay "Welcome to Holland" in your column several times. It's the metaphorical account of the shock a mother received upon discovering her beloved baby had been born with Down syndrome.
She likened the experience -- and the events leading up to it -- to the carefully laid plans for a fabulous vacation in Italy. "You plan for months," she says, "and when the time finally comes and your plane lands, the flight attendant says, 'Welcome to Holland.'" Those of us who have parented children born with birth defects are all too familiar with the shock the writer felt when she learned she was one of us -- her plans for an "Italian vacation" would never be.
Mrs. Kingsley wisely decided that if you have to face a fate that cannot be changed, you'd best make the most of it. "If life hands you lemons, make lemonade."
Well, please welcome us back from Holland! Our first daughter was born with epidermolysis bulosa, an extremely rare and debilitating skin condition that causes the skin to break into blisters. As the blisters slowly heal and break down again, they leave scars similar to those caused by a third-degree burn. Most victims go through life with a sizable part of their body swathed in bandages. Our daughter also lost an arm above the elbow to skin cancer.
Eleven years later, our second daughter was born with the same affliction. She lost a leg above the knee.
Both girls went through public schools and on to college. One became a state champion debater; the other went to state competitions in choir. We tried to be faithful stewards of the precious lives God had entrusted to our care -- binding up their wounds and shielding them from the assaults of the world.
Four years ago, Tana, our older daughter, embarked on her final journey -- she went home at age 50. A few months ago, her younger sister, Darla, went to be with her. She was 42.
We don't regret our decision to stay in Holland. We know we filled the needs of two beautiful children who, but for us, might have fared even worse in this world than they did. We have over a half-century of wonderful memories -- and we have each other.
To prospective parents, we can only say we hope you get to make it to Italy. However, if you don't -- Holland's not the worst place in the world. Much depends on your perspective.
God bless you, Emily Perl Kingsley, for your courage and willingness to share. God bless you, Abby, for providing the forum. -- BILL AND JEANNE MAULTSBY, ORANGE, TEXAS
DEAR BILL AND JEANNE: I cried when I read your poignant letter. It proves the truth of the saying that regardless of what we think, God doesn't make our path steeper than we can climb. I'm glad that you have each other. You deserve each other -- and that's the highest compliment I can pay.
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Old Fashioned Table Manners Should Still Be in Style Today
DEAR ABBY: Oh, my gosh -- the letter from Bob Buckles' mom listing the rules for good table manners was the best! What a great woman. She included everything you need to survive a social dinner anywhere.
I am a social phobic -- there, I've said it out loud. And those rules will help me remember what to do. In case I missed a rule or two while raising my girls, I'll pass that list along. You can be sure it'll be posted on my fridge. Thank you, Bob -- and thanks to you, Mom. And thank you too, Abby. -- CHERI IN GIG HARBOR, WASH.
DEAR CHERI: Thank YOU. Mrs. Buckles' list of table manners generated still more of them. It's a subject people can sink their teeth into. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: People chomping on their food with open mouths is a pet peeve of mine. It is disgusting.
May I add a 21st suggestion to Mrs. Buckles' 20? "Keep your mouth closed when chewing your food, lest you resemble a cow chewing its cud." -- WESLEY WOOD, MELBOURNE, FLA.
DEAR WESLEY: Your pet peeve is shared by many others. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: May I offer another rule for Mrs. Buckles? It is: Remove your hat before sitting down at the table. This includes BASEBALL CAPS! -- NANCY IN HAMMONDSVILLE, OHIO
DEAR NANCY: You're right -- in polite society the hat should come off, unless it's there for religious reasons. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: The list of table manners was great! I'd like to add a few of my own bugaboos:
(1) Wash your hands before you're asked to sit down at the table.
(2) Be sure your hosts know about any dietary requirements well BEFORE the meal.
(3) Spoon up and out of a serving dish instead of shoveling the food over the edge to the plate.
(4) Don't feed the dog under the table. -- ANOTHER MOTHER, PHOENIX
DEAR A.M.: Excellent suggestions. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Mrs. Buckles' rules were the same ones my parents raised me with in the 1960s and '70s. I would like to add one other: Eat whatever the host has prepared, NO MATTER WHAT. If you're not sure you'll like it, take only a small portion. That way no food will be wasted.
Because of that rule, I have tasted many foods I might have refused to try -- and my opinions are based on experience, not ignorance. -- KERRY MERRILL, MIKANA, WIS.
DEAR KERRY: Very sensible! Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Reading the letter from Bob Buckles, I thought how much I would enjoy spending Thanksgiving with my children and their families. I wouldn't care where or how we ate, as long as we could be together.
We were "transplanted" away from our home and family in 1981. We have spent Thanksgiving with them only once in nearly 20 years. Holidays away from home and family aren't easy. Ask anyone whose job has taken them to other places, and I'll bet they would trade all of Helen's "rules" for a loving family dinner.
It makes me appreciate all the more what our armed forces -- who are away from home for our benefit -- do for us. -- ALSO A MOTHER, BUT NOT PICKY, GRAYSON, GA.
DEAR ALSO: I appreciate your sentiments, but I can't help but conclude that there isn't one "right" answer here. You and Mrs. Buckles both have a point.
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